Photography: Peter and Veronika
The first and most obvious thing to take into consideration after getting engaged is the wedding planning. It is easier for us to start thinking about the event ─ the wedding ─ rather than the journey, the marriage. We get so caught up with wanting to do this and that for that 'one day in our lifetime' that we forget about the life we will build after that event has passed.
To put off talking about the future and to leave it aside until the wedding day is over, might set you off on a bit of a bumpy ride during the first year of your marriage. We often take for granted how helpful talking about things way ahead of time can actually be. We assume things will just work out eventually. But, being in a marriage is a lot different than being in a relationship. There are simply some things you both need to talk about before getting married in order to set a smooth transition.
Below are some of the things that are worth discussing after you said "yes":
1.Financial matters
It is never too early to start talking about how you will manage your family finance, because this will save you both from a lot of arguments and trouble later on. Questions you could ask yourselves: How will the expenses be managed? Will there be joint accounts? Will all the household expenses be split in half? Who will take care of which bills? Whatever decisions you both come to, it is important to make sure that you both feel comfortable with it.
2.Family quality time
It's good to consider how you will balance spending time with both sides of the family. Talk about some of the things that are important to your families, like gathering once in a while for a family event or going out for a meal every week. By communicating about the practical things you both know your families would appreciate, you are building a stronger family bond for the upcoming future, for both sides.
3.Household matters
Life under the same roof can be fun but challenging at the same time. In order to have a smooth transition from living 'on your own' to living together for the first time, it is good to have a clear idea on how you both will manage the living situation. Discuss household responsibilities and chores distributions, like who will be taking care of what around the house. Will there be domestic helpers or will you take care of it on your own?
4.Children
It is important to talk about whether you both see children in your future or not. Often times we assume our partners feel the same way we do about having kids, but it is best to leave the assumptions aside when it comes to this subject. If you both see children in the picture, you can discuss things like, when will be the right time to have kids? How many are you both thinking of having? How will the kids be raised? It is also good to discuss how you both will handle potential questions or issues your kids might come to you for in order to get a clear idea of where you both stand on certain topics.
