Photography: iStock Photos
Ladies, when it comes to marriage, one of the best ways in keeping things alive is to invest in your sex life with your husband. Just as you would invest in the emotional and non-physical parts of your relationship, you need to treat sex with the same sense of priority. Therefore, sharing your sexual desires with your partner should be seen as important as sharing any other wants and needs you may have within the relationship. It may feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable to be open about your sexual desires however, men actually find it a major turn on when their partners are more expressive when it comes to sex. Men like a bit of a challenge especially if it's to do with sex so there is no better way to spice things up than by letting your man know how he can please you in bed. To help you figure out in what way you can communicate what you want sexually, we interviewed a few married women and asked them their own experiences when it comes to this. Here are what they have to say:
"The answer is yes – to some degree. I would share with my husband what I want but I guess not too detailed – maybe because I cannot be bothered, I'm not sure. For instance, if there is something particular that I like then I would say and if there isn't then I would also say. That is as far as what I want and don't want. But, aside from that, like my wildest fantasies, I would usually keep to myself. But, I do agree that we should be more open when it comes to what we expect our husbands to do in bed because it helps keep the sparks alive." - 35 years old, married for 10 years.
"Honestly, it was difficult for me to let my husband know what I wanted. This one time I tried saying what I want and didn't want in quite a blunt manner and he took offense. So, because of this I had to be more careful in how and when I would say it. Now I try saying what I want during sex while we are in the heat of the moment. This way seems to work better as he finds it hot and he definitely no longer gets offended. The point is that I try to 'guide' him rather than 'judge' him." - 27 years old, married for 2 years.
"I am very open with my husband when it comes to anything sexual. I feel that we are both responsible for making each other sexually satisfied so why not make the most out of it? I always try to spice things up because if we don't try to have fun with our sex life then what's the point? Settling has never been my thing so if there is something I like for him to do then I would say it and vice versa. In regards to how I say it, it would usually go something like this, 'Honey, I really like it when you (insert what I want), it really turns me on…' I find that men find it a big turn on hearing their women more verbal and expressive with what she wants in the bedroom. Just remember to show appreciation always." - 30 years old, married for 3 years.
So ladies, don't be afraid to be a little bit clearer with what you want from your husband in bed. It is a definite win-win situation because at the end of the day, you will get what you want and in return he will feel more like a man having been able to satisfy his lady.
