Photography: Jose Villa
When you first got to know your spouse, everything is exciting and new. Every little thing he does is cute and adorable, and all you want to do is to spend every waking hour with him. You feel like nothing could ever make you feel sick and tired of your partner because he is just that great! Fast-forward a few years later and to your surprise you find yourself feeling bored. Not only are you feeling bored with your partner, but you also begin to feel tired with how the relationship is going.
If you are currently experiencing the boredom phase, here's some good news: it's common and you can actually fix it. But first thing's first, you need to know what kind of boredom it is before you know what to do about it. There are actually two kinds of boredom in a relationship and what you can do to make things better depends greatly on the type of boredom you are experiencing.
"I am bored and I need us to do something fun together to spark up the relationship."
This kind of boredom is the result of the day-to-day routine that a lot of couples fall into. Going to the same restaurants, doing the same activities each week, going to the same places to hang out, etcetera etcetera. Although there is nothing wrong with having a bit of routine here and there, try do something different once in a while. Go surprise your partner with a trip to the beach, write little romantic notes at random places for them to see throughout the day, cook them a nice dinner, or go check out places you both have never been to. The bottom line is that you need to do something different! Making the effort to experience new things together will freshen up the sparks again and strengthen your bond. Do not wait until the next wave of boredom to come along. Make sure you keep the excitement going!
"I am bored and I have serious doubts about this relationship."
This type of boredom isn't just about being bored of the daily routine. It is the kind that even though you both have tried to keep the sparks going (surprises, romantic gestures, etc.), you still feel complete and utter boredom, which you cannot seem to shake off. If you are experiencing this, you need to start asking yourself whether you still want to be in the relationship. Are you sure you are in love with your partner and not in love with who they used to be? If you are only staying because you'll feel bad if you leave or you think the relationship has lasted too long for it to end now, then you are putting you and your partner at risk for more unhappiness in the future. Find out the reason behind your boredom and decide from there if the relationship is worth salvaging or not.
