Photography: Michael and Carina
Society has led us to believe that sex on our wedding night will be the best sex ever. Some even say, "I saw the stars, the moon, and the mountains. I saw heaven when I'm making love to you!" and that we'll be seeing fireworks that is more spectacular than those on New Year's Eve because wedding night sex is just incredible! But in fact, not every couple is lucky enough to experience a spectacular wedding night sex.
Imagine this: You've planned your wedding to the very last detail. You've heaved that huge sigh of relief as you are pronounced "man and wife" because you finally did it! From that moment on, it would have been about your celebration of love. Adrenaline would kick in from sheer excitement and you would have partied hard, drink more than your fair share of alcohol and you would have danced to your heart content. Then when the last guests have left, you would have withdrawn to your room, as husband and wife, and then … you would have just kicked off your heels and rip off your dress because you were just too tired to do anything else but to pass out in your honeymoon suite.
Don't be alarmed. Not consummating within the first few hours as husband and wife doesn't make you bad at sex. It just makes you part of the 95% of newlyweds who also didn't do the deed right after they got hitched. Yes, sex is a vital part of marriage, and yes, it is a way of communication and expression of intimacy reserved only for marriage. However, the first time you have sex isn't a glimpse of your sex life in the long term. And the first time you have sex as husband and wife surely doesn't have to be done on your first night as husband and wife.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do it that night. Just go with the flow. If you're feeling like it, do it. If you're exhausted, it's okay to do it in the morning after. To force your way through exhaustion or over excitement won't make your first experience a very pleasant one. Just go with the flow and let your heart and body lead you. You will know when you're ready.
So, when it comes to sex on your wedding night, listen to your body and go with the flow. Don't force yourself to do it when you're not feeling like it. Take the time to enjoy your first experience and do it to express your love for each other, as a celebration of your matrimony. Don't do it to prove if what you've heard about sex on the wedding night is true, because the truth it, sex gets even more incredible with practice and you have the rest of your life to do it.
