Photography: Phil Chester
Did you know that married life is not always filled with rainbows and roses and that it's not always a ride on a pretty carousel? Some things in marriage are really scary you may want to reconsider before you finally say "I do", because when you take the plunge, you step into a new domesticated life – with one person. And in that domesticated life, some things can get pretty ugly.
1. You will wake up beside the same person – forever.
Think that it would be sweet to wake up beside him every single morning? The truth is: you'll get over it. When the alarm goes off, you jump out of the bed hoping you're not running late for work or for taking your kids to school. You might not even have the time to get all lovey-dovey to the man who (might still be) sleeping beside you.
2. You will fight over toothpaste
Who's not putting back the cap on, what end to squeeze the toothpaste, who's throwing out the whole tube to the trash bin when it's not really empty and still can be used for another brush. The possibility of getting in the argument that will cause you to question whether you've committed to the right "forever after" is endless, really. From toothpaste to toilet seats to TV remote controls, you'll never run out of things to argue about.
3. You will pick up after his mess
In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, in neatness and in mess, you will (have to) love him and honor him all the days of your life. You may feel sick and tired of picking up the shoes that he left in the living room, or of constantly grumbling about how poor your spouse's housekeeping skills are.
4. He will fart in front of you
Think men are disgusting now? You probably haven't seen anything yet! When he feels too comfortable around you, he will do such things he usually does when he's on his own, like farting, and burping, and nose-picking. You might not even get used to it even after years of marriage. But hey, in beauty and in disgust, right?
5. You may have sleeping trouble – because of his snore
If he snores, he snores. It won't change and you won't be able to adapt or suddenly find that his snore is like a lullaby. No. No. Our tips for this co-sleeping arrangement? Sleep earlier than him, and stock up some earplugs on your bedside just in case.
6. You need to set the expectation quite low, on almost everything
There will be times when you're really hope that he'll cook up some breakfast and serve them in your bed - unless you're married to Prince Charming, in which case you're really, really lucky - that's bound to never happen. You might ask him to bring home a bottle of milk when you run out to have him bring home bottles of beer instead. You might ask him if he'll be home in time for dinner and put the kids to bed, but he forgets to tell you that he'll be working late. Expectations can be a scary thing.
Did we scare you? We're simply stating the facts. But here's the lowdown on marriage: although marriage isn't always picture perfect and that it can be both scary and disgusting at times, it can be a fun ride when you want it to be. It can be a chance to prove that love can bring out the best in each other, or it can be something you dread. It all depends on how you respond to this adjustment period
