Communication is the foundation that makes it possible for trust, friendship, love, intimacy and respect to thrive. It is the glue that holds these vital qualities together but it also can, in many ways, be the reason your relationship becomes problematic. When we expect our partners to automatically know how we are feeling or thinking without us having to communicate anything, that's when communication can go wrong and be the trigger for arguments. You are not a mind reader and so is your partner. You both need help in knowing what makes each other happy and sad. This takes the willingness to be open in communicating your feelings both the good and the bad.
Communicating the bad:
Don't keep your feelings to yourself when your partner has said and/or done something that upsets you. This will eventually foster feelings of resentment inside you. And when you carry resentment around with you – your partner can feel this too. The problem is they will not know how to make things better.
In order to communicate in a non-threatening way, whenever something upsets you, try to let your partner know immediately, right then and there. By nipping a problem in the bud before it gets worse with time, you are doing yourself and your partner a favor by not carrying that chip on your shoulder. In return your partner will be in a position where he/she can actually do something about it.
Communicating the good:
Just like communicating unpleasant feelings, we must also learn to communicate the good ones. This is how we show appreciation. The question you must ask yourself is, are you willing to drop your pride or ego in order to let your partner know the happiness they bring you? Because when you are only open about things that are going bad and rarely ever talk about the good, this will eventually have a negative impact on intimacy between you and your partner. So, let your partner know what you appreciate about them on a regular basis. Make this a habit and you will eventually see that the more you give, the more you will receive.
Start small; tell him you love it when he brings you flowers. Or tell him that you feel it's counterproductive and unnecessary that he is always so sarcastic when you are having an argument or a heated discussion. Work your way up from there because working on communication is hard. Communication will always need to be done in a certain way in order to overcome the hurdles that relationships bring and to also nurture the good. Being open with your partner whether you are upset or joyful will strengthen the foundation of your relationship and allow for other qualities to foster.
