Photography: Gladys Jem Photography
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be with someone else other than your partner? Be it your ex, someone you have always liked or that person you just met recently. If you have then you are not the only one, we are curious beings after all. But, what happens when we begin to obsess about the 'what ifs' so much so that we want to start taking action? As much as it is a common and natural thing to wonder, can this actually create any harm to our relationship? Here, we discuss the "Fata Morgana", or in other words, the optical illusion that appears very real but is never so and why we should always keep a distance from those thoughts.
The case of the ex
"I saw my ex and chemistry was still there. Maybe we should get back together!"
This illusion comes when we bump into an ex and we realize that the chemistry is still very much there. Now, why is it an illusion? Well, your ex seems to be more appealing to you right now only because he is an ex. Put on that realistic pair of glasses and look at the situation for what it is because once that ex becomes your current boyfriend and all the reasons why you once broke up in the first place will come rushing back. And then you would be wishing you never left your partner in the first place.
The one who got away
"We have always liked each other but the timing was never right…"
This illusion comes when we think about the person we have liked for so long but could never be with. This Fata Morgana is more hardcore than 'the ex' because you have never been together. Because you never 'got' him is exactly why this person holds your curiosity so much. Everything and anything will always look a lot more appealing from afar – that's just the way it is. We will never know what someone is like until we spend time with him or her the way we do with our partner. So, as much as you would like to go on a rampage with that 'what ifs' thoughts of yours, stop, because nothing good will come out of it.
The acquaintance
"He is so much more caring and a better listener than my partner."
This illusion comes when someone offers us something that we may be missing from our partner. This is an illusion because when someone presents our unmet needs on a silver platter all of a sudden that person becomes better. But, just because someone is a good listener it does not mean they will make a better boyfriend. And just because someone happens to give you a bit more attention than your partner is giving, doesn't mean you will be happier with him. Look at that person and his gesture for what it simply is, not for what 'it can mean' - anything else is ultimately not worth thinking about.
An illusion may appear real but it really isn't. Distance yourself from those thoughts and don't allow it to kill the real relationship you already have.
