Photography: Istock Photos
There seems to be some kind of negative stigma attached to being single. You feel it during Valentine's Day, on a lunch out with your friend and her husband, attending family gatherings where people would ask why you're still single and many other occasions that often make single people feel embarrassed about being 'alone'. However, this idea that being in a relationship is so much better than being single is in fact truly misleading. Truth is, one is not better than the other in any way. These two stages in your life are so different and they bring in different learning experiences that cannot realistically be compared against. It is important to realize that the grass is not greener on the other side – it's only green where you water it. Below are 5 things you may be taking for granted about being single and how to use this time in your life to better the future.
It isn't as bad as you think it is: It's very easy to have the perception that the grass is greener on the other side when you're single. One may think that being in a relationship is so much better than being 'alone'. But the fact of the matter is that, being in a relationship is not as easy as it may look. You need to constantly consider someone else's feelings aside from yours. Also, sacrifices and compromises must be made and you have to put in actual effort in order to have a good relationship. The truth is, being in a relationship is not that simple after all.
You can be friends with and date different people: Too many people focus too much on finding 'husband-material' that they end up not being open to being friends and dating different people. The fact is that you can't know what you want or what you don't want if you don't put yourself out there. Don't be afraid to go on dates and give guys a chance. Don't limit yourself to dating only those who are top notch from the get go! You can never truly know how someone is unless you spend a good amount of time with them.
However, remember this one thing: keep in mind what your deal-breakers are. Have standards which, are not too specific but not too general either such as – he must have ambition, be respectful, want the same things you do, have similar morals and values to you, knows what he wants and someone who does not play games. Having your own set of standards will help you weed out, which guys you could potentially be with and which guys you don't see yourself with especially when you've noticed some relationship red flags. You may be thinking that 'he will change for me' or 'he will soon be different', but the harsh truth is that if he does not put you as a priority right now then he never will. Stop wasting your time staying in a relationship that does not serve you well. Your time and your love are precious things that only the right guy deserves to have.
You can enjoy your own company: It is important for you to be able to feel okay and not 'lonely' whenever you are alone. Try and go out to a restaurant or have a cup of coffee by yourself, relax in your room and read a good book, go pamper yourself to the salon or the spa – do whatever you can to give yourself a chance to enjoy your own company. You will feel much more happier this way.
You can focus on your self-improvement: Don't worry too much about finding the one. You will end up stressing out and worrying about the fact that you haven't met him yet. As cliché as it sounds, the right person for you will come when you least expect it. Meaning that when you just live your life and focus on your own improvement – you will automatically attract men who are in similar mindset as you are. When you worry, you might end up attracting those who are unavailable or not truly interested in you. So, avoid worrying too much and just live! In the meantime, use this time to work on being the best version of yourself. If you want someone who is loyal, ambitious, kind, generous and considerate, ask yourself if you are any of these things yourself first. As someone who is all that and beyond will want someone who is similar to them as well.
You can enjoy your 'single' time as best as you can – you are free! This is the time to do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it and however you want to do it. If travelling is what you love to do then do it now! If pursuing a passion or a new career is what you want to do then do it now. Take advantage of the fact that you have no one else to take into consideration but yourself – so, use this opportunity well. The worst thing is to feel regret about not enjoying your life more before you got married. So, get out there and have fun! You will thank yourself later for it
