Photography: 123rf.com
Now that you're married, it's natural if you think your life partners should be your business partners as well! You already like and adore your partner after all, so you think that it would be easy to work with him.
Think again, because husbands and wives often overlook that in reality, being together romantically is very different to working together in a business.
As human beings, we have different hats that we put on when we socialize. We have our working hat, husband/wife hat, daughter/son hat, friend hat, etc. When we have our working hat on, we treat and act around the people we work with in a certain way. When we have our husband/wife hat on, we treat the person we have a romantic relationship way in another way. However, when those two different hats are forced to be put on together and at the same time, that's when the conflicts start.
In a business setting, you may find out that each other's working habits or styles are very much different from one another or that you or your partner's ego gets in the way for a working relationship to flourish. Just like we encounter conflicts in our romantic relationship, we too will encounter them in our working relationship.
Although some couples manage to succeed in balancing work and their romantic relationship together, some couples need a little bit more help in that. To be life partners and business partners at the same time isn't as easy as some people would dream it to be, as it often times, forces one to sacrifice one role for another.
The key to successfully build a marriage and a business at the same time is to know the roles you are playing in each setting. Here are a few tips to help you succeed in being partners in life and in business.
1. Know your priorities. Is your partner your husband first and business partner second or is it the other way around? In the midst of that fight to keep your dream business alive, you can lose sight on what's really important. Your love should always be number one. You must place your marriage at the top of your priorities list before your business – every time with no exceptions. When you live your life knowing that you put your husband/wife first and foremost before your working relationship then it will be much easier to get through any hurdles you face both romantically and business wise.
2. Respect each other. Just like your romantic relationship, you both must be able to show respect in the work place. Be as professional as possible because when work and love comes together it can get a little bit messy. Working together might bring out certain sides to yourself and your partner, which you both may not have been aware of before. And you may or may not like the way your partner works but just like any conflicts or disagreements in your relationship, you must work through it with respect. Without this, it will be a lot harder to maintain a working relationship.
3. Know what roles you are playing and respect it. Each person in the business pull their weight and have his or her own roles and responsibilities. It helps to have a system in place. For example, you both can decide together who gets to handle what. Perhaps you want to handle the creative side of the business while he handles the finance. Be sure to have clear boundaries when it comes to each other's responsibilities, this way there won't be any confusion if something is getting done. When you know what role each other is playing in the business, respect it. Don't step over each other or take each other for granted.
4. Know when and when not to put the working hat on. There may be a possibility where you both differ in the way you handle talking about work. Some of us prefer talking about work on a fixed schedule as to not constantly have to put the working hat on and off. Whereas some of us prefer to be more flexible when it comes to talking about work and don't mind discussing it whenever. If you and your partner differ in this matter, it helps to talk about what each of you are most comfortable with and come to a compromise.
5. Improve your communication. Just as you would communicate to your colleagues at work about your actions, you should do the same to your spouse. If at any time you feel overwhelmed or offended by a particular work habit that your partner does, try to have a conversation about it without placing any blame. For example, if you are starting to feel tense with the way your partner bombards you with problems first thing in the morning, suggest having a quick meeting about this in 10 minutes after you have had time to settle down. When there are problems, talk it out and find a solution like you would in your romantic relationship.
6. Make time for you both as a couple. We can get so wrapped up in talking about work all day that we end up forgetting that our business partner is also our husband/wife. All work and no play can be damaging to the marriage if you do not set clear boundaries for when you both are simply together without discussing work. Invest time in the romantic relationship and remember to have a balance of both work and play.
If you and your partner have already tried your very best to work together but for one reason or another you both are simply not able to, then perhaps it would be a good time to talk about whether you both should continue working together or not. The fact is that not every couple can work together, and that is okay. If things are clearly not working and the business is starting to really get in the way of the relationship, be careful not to end up sabotaging the relationship itself just to force a working relationship to happen. Remember that you both are husband and wife first and business partners second. Do not let the later role replace the first.
