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Is Chivalry Dead?

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Photography: Yaroslav & Jenny

Chivalry is so old fashion that it seems to appear only in black and white movies of the fifties and in fairy tales that our great grandmothers use to read to us at bedtime. Chivalry was the knight in shining armor that helps the damsel in distress and rescues her. Chivalry was Clark Gable opening the door for his leading lady, Vivien Leigh, and helping with her coat before pulling up her chair for her to sit on the dining table. Chivalry was Rhett Butler gently kissing the hand of Scarlett O'Hara.

But where is chivalry today? The old fashion chivalry has slowly died with the rise of "feminism" for the equality of gender in the workplace, home, sporting field, war field and almost anywhere else. Increasingly women power meant that they do not need men to give up their seats in buses or trains for them, that they are more than capable to carry their own shopping bags, or open the doors themselves (thank you very much!). Women were more likely to split the check on dates so they don't feel obliged to return the favor of men with ulterior selfish motives.

The thing is, along with the rise of feminism, there is a decline in the men's desire to prove chivalry. Men don't wish to feel embarrassed with their act of chivalry is spun and so they are more hesitant to open doors, give up their seat, help carry shopping bags or help lift prams up the stairs. The practice of chivalry is diminishing. The act of chivalry is risqué when women react to it as an act of disrespect that they are considered the weaker sex or inferior.

The truth is, chivalry is alive but it's evolving. Chivalry is the act of showing kindness, respect, and being helpful to another human being. Why should there be a reason, or even fear, to extend common courtesy or kindness? What's wrong with holding the door of the lift so others can safely walk out and you take the risk of being slam by the closing door? What's wrong with walking on the side of incoming traffic when you cross the road? What's wrong with crossing the road with an elderly person on your arm as you wave your pleading hands to speeding traffic? Absolutely nothing! There is no harm in chivalry when it is done with genuine kindness and thoughtfulness. In fact, you know what? Women today still find it romantic when their special love ones are being chivalrous to them. Try it and see how she responds!

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