It's a fact that wedding planning is daunting and attempting it with your better half can really put your relationship to the test. While we can't promise there won't be a few quibbles here and there, here are some tips on dealing with stress levels and most importantly, keeping your relationship healthy.
1. Plan your budget.
Money can cause rifts in couples so set out a budget from the get-go and try to stick to it. While you might want that dream gown or he wants a cigar-bar at the reception, not blowing a huge hole in your pockets will mean a happy start to your new life together. A useful way to allocate your budget is to list down the parts of the wedding you'd like in order of importance (eg. you want a grand banquet or that designer gown you've been eyeing). Good tip: Always plan the budget based on your bank balance instead of expecting your angpow takings to cover costs.
2. Don't procrastinate.
Leaving important elements to the last minute could stress you out further or incur unnecessary costs, so it's best to get the essential bits such as the reception venue, solemnisation dates and outfits sorted out early on.
3. Play up to your strengths.
Maybe you're good at organising and coordination while he's good at getting the best deals from vendors. You can each be in charge of what you're good at or more comfortable doing.
4. Remember — you're getting married.
Don't forget that it's YOUR wedding and you can't please everyone. Parents, relatives and friends will all want to help in some way or offer advice, which you should acknowledge but if it gets overbearing, draw the line and politely remind them it's you two who make the final decisions and they should respect that.
5. Don't forget to keep the romance alive.
Planning for a wedding can be emotionally draining and time-consuming so remember to take a breather and go on regular dates to connect with each other. Or you could go for an activity you've both been wanting to try together like cooking classes or rock climbing. Want to up the ante and do something really special? Snail mail each other handwritten love letters to keep the passion alive!
6. Do your own thing.
Familiarity breeds contempt, and since wedding planning can be trying on couples, it's perfectly okay to take a breather and do things on your own. He can have beers or play soccer with his mates, while you catch a movie or go for a yoga class with your besties. Remind them that you want to take a break from planning the wedding so no talk of that.
7. Remember your journey of love.
Most couples have their fair share of great and not-so-great moments. Send each other past or funny photos, phone messages or emails to remind each other how far you've come together.
8. It's all about compromise.
Relationships are all about give and take, and it's not the end of the world if he chooses the blue tie over the grey one. If you like pink but he prefers a less girlie colour palette, you could settle on a combination of pink and greens or white with a splashes of pink. Or if your music tastes differ, pick a DJ or plan a playlist that features both your preferred genres.
9. Don't expect perfection.
There will be little things here and there on your big day that will go wrong so it's best to accept that nothing is ever as perfect as you'd like it to be. Once you acknowledge and accept that things always work out, you won't sweat the small stuff and realise you're not as stressed
