Photography: Thinkstock Photos
We often assume that once we are married, we no longer need to make an effort to keep the romance alive in our relationship. Because romance is only for people who date, right? No, not at all. In fact, because we are married, we need to put in more effort for romance to still be in the air. Marriage does not mean you stop dating each other; marriage means you must continue to cater to one another romantically because that will be the driving force that will make your marriage successful.
So, how exactly do you make sure that the fire of passion and love does not die in your relationship? It doesn't only take conscious effort, but it requires planning. If you spend a lot of time planning for one big day that is your wedding, shouldn't you also plan for something that will last for a lifetime? It may sound a bit odd initially to think about planning for something that should just come naturally, but in fact, marriage doesn't get better without conscious effort. And that conscious effort is one that requires serious planning to happen.
The first step of the plan is to prioritize. When you place something as a priority in your life, you will do all that you can to make sure it does not get neglected. However, the mistake that we often make is to prioritize our work, our children and our family but forget to prioritize our marriage along with all of that. When we start neglecting the very person that we chose to go through life with and place them on the 5th of our priority list, what will happen is that the all the other things on that list will soon crumble. Your relationship with your partner is the foundation of everything else that you hope to do right by. Planning your marriage means making sure that you always work on the romance with your partner. It means nurturing what you both had in the dating phase and making sure it continues to last throughout your marriage.
The next step is action. In reality, planning means making sure you plan to connect with your spouse on a daily basis or to create an intimacy between the two of you. Plan a honeymoon trip once a year where you can just be with your partner without any other distractions. Plan a surprise romantic dinner in when the children aren't home. Plan a day date where you do an activity that you used to do together back when you were still dating. Plan something, anything! The point is to do things that make you and your partner get all excited and giddy again with one another. The point is to have fun together and be able to ignite the passion, love and connection that made you both fall in love with each other in the first place. Marriage isn't easy. It needs conscious effort from both husband and wife to make it work.
Mark those plans that you and your partner have created on the calendar and place them at the top of your list of priorities. Make sure you both follow through and continue. It should not just be a one time thing or done only when things are rough – efforts to make the romance exist on the regular should always be done.
