Photography: Chris Man Studios
When the excitement of the wedding has tailed off and you begin to adjust to life together as husband and wife, here are five tips that will keep the spark of love, romance and passion alive in your marriage for a lifetime.
1. Stay connected
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires effort. Lasting romance is more about caring and communicating than it is about feelings. Do whatever it takes to stay connected. No matter how long you're married, set aside at least fifteen minutes before bedtime to bond. Put aside all mobile devices but don't use the time to discuss day-to-day concerns. If you don't feel like talking, just cuddle together on the sofa. Let it just be a time of enjoying each other's company.
2. Give thanks
The secret to staying together is not about being similar in interests and personality. Rather, it comes from a heart of thankfulness — even for our differences. Recognize the ways your spouse cares for you every single day. Tell your husband you admire him for his level-headedness when discussing a problem. Tell your wife you are grateful that she is so thoughtful in the things she does for you. The more specifics you recognize, the more you would be able to be truly grateful for the gift of your spouse.
3. Take stock
Sit down regularly to clear the air. Discuss the decisions you need to make, as well as the ones you've already made. Ask your spouse if anything is weighing on his mind. Maybe he's worried about finances and maybe she's concerned about work matters. This is also a good time to compare calendars and plan for the future, like scheduling date nights and family vacations. Take time to talk about where you want to be as a couple 10 or 20 years down the road. Think about what kind of relationship you want to have as a couple, and then create a plan to make it happen.
4. Look back
Recollecting special memories is of equal importance. Reflect on how far you have come as a couple to strengthen the future of your marriage. Recall wonderful times spent and even difficulties and challenges faced - though painful, they can help you realize how you have grown stronger individually and as a couple.
5. Express affection
Never hold back on the hugs, hand-holding and kisses to say, "Thank you for dinner" or "I appreciate you". Reach for your spouse's hand every chance you've got when you're in the car or watching a movie together - it's a strong nonverbal way to say, "I love you."
A wedding vow is a promise to commit, no matter what. May your wedding day be one of joyous celebration, and each wedding anniversary you celebrate together be a reminder of this precious promise you made to each other for a lifetime.
This article is contributed by ©2016 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.
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