Photography: Matilda Delves
She has already yelled at your mother, your twice-removed cousin, kicked out the maid-of-honor from the wedding and is now insulting the cake decorator. Wedding preparation is perhaps one of the most stressful events that you will have to experience, and perhaps you find it difficult to catch a glimpse of the woman you fell in love with while the both of you are embroiled in the madness that is wedding planning. If this is so, here are five ways on how you can make her realise she's perhaps getting a little too obsessed!
1. Be patient
Chances are the stress is just getting to her and she doesn't realise she is acting unreasonably or venting her frustrations unhealthily on you or anyone else around her. Don't talk to her while she is in the middle of a meltdown. Experts say it is best to wait for her to calm down, then sit down with her and remind her that it is your wedding too, so she doesn't have to plan it entirely on her own. You are concerned about her and if you still want your friends attending and helping out at your wedding, it is best to point out her bridezilla ways — very gently, but also very firmly — early on in your engagement.
2. Spend time away from the wedding
Some brides spend every waking moment worrying about the wedding — a year in advance. You've seen her talking at her bridesmaids about your honeymoon plans for the fifth time, and by now everyone can name the exact shade of pink and purple she's going to use in her decorations and flowers. This clearly means she needs a time-out. Take her to the spa, spend a day out hiking or take a short trip out of town and make sure she doesn't have her phone with her to check up on everyone involved in the wedding.
3. Take on your share of the planning
Saying that you want what she wants can be a recipe for disaster, so make a deal with her — you'll take care of the guest list, guest favours and fend off your mother's attempts at interfering with the planning while she can handle the decorations, floral arrangements and caterers. The both of you will not breathe down each other's backs as you each do your share, and you may find that even without agonizing over each and every detail of your wedding together, the end result will still be perfectly as you both imagined.
4. Have an intervention
When you feel that she can understand her bridezilla actions better if she knows more than one person feels the same way about her (and yes, they likely do), maybe it's time for an intervention. I don't mean the bridesmaids, and not the entire family along with that uncle you both dislike. Get the bride's siblings or her parents and maybe her best friend, but the last thing you need is to gang up on your fiancée with a large group of people and make her feel attacked as she is probably already stress out as it is.
5. Talk to someone
You may get frustrated and nervous too, and there may be moments when talking to her seems completely impossible. You are entitled to venting your worries and anger as well — just don't complain about her to her bridesmaids, period. Those words have a way of passing through the bride's ears eventually, and you don't want her to feel like you are talking behind her back. Try someone neutral, like your wedding planner or a cousin who is unable to attend the wedding.
