Photography: Jennifer Lee
Whether you are with someone who is the complete opposite to you or someone who share a lot of similarities with you – running across differences in your relationship is inevitable. In all relationships, there will be some mismatches here and there whether that's in your feelings, values, hobbies, backgrounds or interests – that is normal. But, what happens when it gets to a point when these differences are starting to create a bit of a strain in the relationship. Is it always necessary for either party to change in order to bridge the gap or is changing oneself detrimental to the relationship? Here we discuss the best ways to deal with differences and how we can begin to look at them in a more positive and productive point of view.
The Unhealthy Route of Dealing with Differences
First and foremost, it is important to know whether the differences you have with your partner are minor differences or major ones by asking yourself whether or not either of you had to sacrifice your core values. If you find yourself having to be someone completely different in order to make the relationship work, then this is a whole other issue you need to deal with and is a major red flag that can indicate the person you are with may just not be the right person for you.
When You Feel a Change is Necessary
A more healthy way to resolve differences is to communicate your feelings by making a request for a change and show the value in the change itself instead of demanding for the other person to change. You should only want your partner to change if it will benefit them in one way or another. By showing how this change can make them much happier and make their life much easier, they will be more likely to see the value and begin to want to change themselves for the better.
Accepting and Embracing the Differences
If you have tried to communicate and show the value in changing but your partner still does not feel the same way, from a healthy standpoint - there isn't much else you can do. Remember that compatibility does not mean similarities – it means being able use any differences you may have to your advantage. Learn to accept and embrace the differences. When we begin to appreciate the yin and yang of the relationship, we are not only strengthening the bond we have with our partners but we also create massive opportunities for self-growth to happen. And who doesn't want to be in a relationship that makes us better people?
