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"Dear Heart-to-Heart, I have been in a relationship with my partner for five years now and we have a child together. Recently, just when he came back to Australia, his colleague - who is a woman - claimed that she is carrying his child and that she had been since before he left for Australia in November 2014. I am so shocked! I trust him so much and I never doubted the love he has for me and our child. I asked him if it was true and he answered with a firm "No!" He asked me to ignore the rumor and told me that I am the only one he loves. I really don't know what to do. I choose to trust him and to believe in him, but this is bothering my mind. Do you think i need to investigate further and maybe even talk to the woman who is claiming this? Or should I just trust my partner, pretend none of this ever happened and continue to live happily? I hope you can help me get through this." - Coolmom
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Dear Coolmom,
First of all, it must be terribly difficult to hear this news or rumor about your partner especially when you have been feeling secure and happy within your relationship with him. It is really great that you trust your partner so much and have chosen to trust him through all of this and believe in what he says. However, it is clear that despite your decision to trust him, you are still very much curious and worried as to why this woman would make up such a rumor. If this worry lingers on then something must be done otherwise you both will never be able to really move on. Although your partner has told you to ignore the rumor, it is much more easier said than done because you have feelings too.
As much as you should trust your partner, you must remember that rumors do not come from nowhere as well. So, here are a few things that perhaps you could take into consideration if you haven't already. Who exactly is this woman claiming her child is your partner's? Have you heard of her before? What is the relationship like between her and your partner? Have they always been close? How is the history of this woman like? Is she is the type to make up rumors or stir a bit of trouble here and there or is she pretty stable? If your gut feeling is telling you that this rumor may have some truth in it, then it is worth it to try and figure it out.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure your partner knows about it. The last thing you want to do is to go behind your partner's back when he has already told you to ignore the rumors. Have an open conversation with him about all of this and how it has been making you feel so that he understands where your intentions are coming from. If you will feel much more at ease by speaking to the woman, then communicate this with your partner and come up with a solution where you both can feel happy. As much as trust is vital in every relationship it is still important for your partner to help you through all this as well.
You both deserve to be able to enjoy your relationship and the future you are looking forward to having. If someone is trying to break that up, then it is imperative that you both do something about it. Going through something tough like this could really strengthen your relationship with your partner even more. Whatever the outcome may be, make sure you both learn something from this experience and use it to benefit the future. Challenges will always come in any relationship but they are only there to help you grow stronger as a couple. So, get through this together side by side and keep the communication going. You both managed to get through ups and downs for the last 5 years of your relationship after all, so keep it going.
