Photography: Wavebreak Media
The marital ceremony is the bride and groom's first serious opportunity to have all these differences come to a point of mutual agreement. It will be a happy ending if the mutual agreement was accepted wholeheartedly and with sincerity, but it can be sad if some of the differences are irreconcilable and thus becoming a heart-breaking matter.
The wedding is the first event where two parties from two different family backgrounds have to decide on things together. Sometimes they agree, sometimes they have different opinions, and that's okay. However, before we put out our dominant hands and call the shots to the extremes, it is wise to think about the weight of the disagreements. There are many possible areas for disagreements. Let's take for example the more serious issues, such as each family insisting only on following their own religious rites for the blessing ceremony, or one of the families insisting on throwing a modest and intimate get-together while the other demands a grand wedding celebration, or maybe there's a disagreement on who should be paying for what. There are also the less serious ones, such as the color and style of the decor at the wedding, the choice of menus that should be served to the guests, which songs to play, or the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
The possibilities are endless. However, it is always good to remind ourselves that the wedding celebration is the gateway to our life together as husband and wife, which we should agree happily with our wedding plans as a first step to adjusting to life as one, and to choose our battles wisely. Life as "one" means that groom and bride decide together in a common decision despite initial differences. So in order for couples and family to get into an agreement, let us share with you four behavior values you should learn to have, in your wedding planning as well as in life:
1. Show respect for the differences in culture and faith.
2. Accept the differences. Remember that differences enrich us as a human.
3. Have empathy on the financial well being of yourself and also of your parents and in laws. Don't spend more than what you together as a combined family can afford.
4. Be generous with a view to keep your family and in laws happy, but your future life partner happiest.
If you're finding yourself in a disagreement, remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and always a way to work it out!
