Here are the true stories of three men. They have three things in common: they are all married, they all have young children and their wives make more money than they do.
Husband #1: "I believe that we all have a role to play and that God will never abandon us."
Before devoting his life to do God's work, this guy had a promising career working in a multinational bank. After a few years of lending his life as an officer, he felt unhappy and didn't feel content with what he has done with his life. He felt a calling for him to lead a pastoral life. "The decision to leave my job was not an easy one to make. At that time, I was earning more than my wife and I worried that a single income wouldn't be enough to sustain our growing family. But with the support of my wife, I left my job."
He told us that the decision to leave his job that paid money was made entirely by him, but he wouldn't have done it without the support of his wife. "Today, my wife is retired and our son is in his final year of college. We have never lacked anything, God's blessings overflowed in our lives. My wife has just enrolled herself to study theology and plans to minister along with me."
Lesson Learned: In sharing in the same vision and life goals, Aswan and his wife respect each other and are mutually supportive of each other's works. Money doesn't become a hindrance or a burden because they believe that each plays a role in the bigger scheme of things.
Husband #2: "I tried, but maybe my best wasn't good enough."
This husband grew up in a traditional, patriarchal family. He wants to be the man of the house, the breadwinner who works outside the home while his wife takes care of the house and kids. However, things didn't go as he wanted to, and he is left to take a backseat to his wife.
"I tried many times to land myself a steady job. It has been difficult to constantly be on the job market. I tried to start my own business too, but that didn't work out either. I tried my best, but maybe my best wasn't good enough. My wife nags on me and complains about me not pulling enough weight at home. She hates it when I don't share the responsibility and plays golf with my buddies instead. I mean, I am entitled to blow off some steam too, right?"
Lesson Learned: A husband who is not the primary breadwinner may still sit on his throne and wear his "Man of the House" crown if he threw his selfishness out the window and give his wife the proper tender-loving care she deserves after a hard day work.
Husband #3: "To be a house-husband does not mean I am jobless"
This father of one lives with his wife in an apartment. Like many in the US, the economic recession in 2008 took a toll on many American jobs. In about a third of American couples, wives have higher paying jobs compared to their husbands because they possess more applicable skills.
His wife is a self-employed graphic designer who has a stream of jobs that earns the family a good income. Her husband becomes the primary caretaker of their four years-old son. He takes him to school, babysits him at home, takes care of the house and sometimes picks up some odd jobs on the side.
"I enjoy being with my son. To take him to school, to meet other waiting dads, and to be with him at home where I play an important role in his growth gives me a sense of achievement. Just because I am a house husband who works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without pay does not mean that I am jobless. Instead of paying for sitters and cleaners, we are saving for our son's future education."
Lesson Learned: It's all hands on deck and every family member must chip in for the family to sail forward, including accepting role reversals. Be proud of your wife for all the achievements that she has made and then you can be truly grateful that you can make the most of your lives with a happy heart.
