Photography: iStock Photos
Sometimes romantic relationships have a way of changing the way you are as a person. You may want to communicate what you think and how you feel but because of a lack of certainty you choose to keep some things to yourself. You may also feel uncomfortable with the way your partner is treating you but again, due to lack of certainty you choose to not do anything about it. This is where self-confidence is needed. The more self-confidence you have, the more likely you will be able to just be yourself in a relationship. You won't be worried about trying to fit an image you think your partner or potential partner wants, but rather you can think, speak and behave in a manner that is natural and comfortable. So, how can self-confidence truly affect you and your romantic relationship? Here are 6 reasons why self-confidence is in fact very important for a relationship to succeed.
1. Trust will come easier. When your self-confidence is low, it is most likely that you will feel insecure about yourself. Feeling insecurity in a relationship can often lead you to question your partner's intentions in loving you. You will wonder and question whether or not your partner truly loves you and how much he loves you. And the problem is that no matter what your partner says or does to show how much you mean to him – it will still be hard for you to trust him because you don't see your own self-worth. When you have self-confidence that is high, it will be much easier for you to trust that your partner loves you.
2. You won't stay in toxic relationships. When there is a lack of self-confidence, you will find it more difficult to see yourself deserving of true happiness. It will be easier for your partner to manipulate you into thinking that you deserve second best. A part of having self-confidence is knowing your self-worth and not settling for anything less than what you know you deserve. When your confidence is high, you will know when to walk away from a relationship that does not serve you well anymore. Rather than staying in a relationship that degrades your value and causes you pain – you will see the relationship for what it is and be able to walk away sooner rather than later.
3. You won't lose your identity. Having self-confidence means you know who you are as a person and you are proud of yourself. It means that no matter whom you are surrounded by, you will not change who you are. Without self-confidence, you will be far more vulnerable to people's opinions of you. This means that in a relationship – if your partner has a bad influence on you – you will be more prone to changing yourself because you still don't know who you are yet. Losing your identity because of a relationship can cause a lot of pain. But, if you nurture your self-confidence on an ongoing basis – you will never lose who you are.
4. You will be a happier partner. You cannot give another person something that you do not give yourself. Without self-love, you will end up finding validation from your partner because you cannot find it in yourself. Your relationship will feel more like a love transaction rather than a mutual process of giving. The saying that "you cannot love another person before you love yourself" is very much true in this case. With self-confidence comes happiness. Happiness in being able to be yourself and in loving who you are, flaws and all. When you are able to be happy with yourself, you will be a far better spouse for your partner. You will be able to love him better because you love yourself just as much.
5. Intimacy will feel better. You cannot enjoy intimacy when you feel insecure or self-conscious about yourself. With lack of self-confidence instead of enjoying the moments of physical contact with your partner, your head will be some place else. You will worry about how you look, if he will like you in this lighting or not, if he will find you sexy or not, etc. When you invest in self-confidence you will feel sexy regardless of what you look like or what you have on. Being sexy is not only about looking the part but it's mostly feeling it on the inside. And when you are confident because you love yourself, your partner will automatically find you even more attractive for it. You will be far more 'present' during intimacy and you will be able to actually enjoy the moment rather than worrying the whole time.
6. You won't overthink things. Overthinking things is a symptom of lack of confidence. When you are feeling insecure it is easy to overthink or overreact to things your partner is doing. If for instance, he does not reply your text message in the length of time that is ideal for you – you will be far more likely to overthink rather than simply assuming he will reply you back later. Overthinking does nothing good for you or your relationship as it is often based on negative thinking and assuming the worst-case scenario. When you have self-confidence you no longer will feel the need to overthink or assume the worst. You will see things for what they really are and not worse than what they are. You will not be wasting your energy worrying about something, which you cannot do anything about.
It is pretty clear how your self-confidence can really influence the way you behave in a romantic relationship. The more you invest in yourself and feel good about who you are the better you will be as a partner. Focus on building your self-confidence and overtime you will see your relationship progressing better and better.