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When we are in love, it is easy to gush over how much we want to be with our partner for the rest of our lives. To say that we love them unconditionally can be one of the easiest things to declare to the world. To also feel optimistic about our relationship and the future ahead seems effortless when things are going well. It isn't hard to love someone when they're at their best, when they're having a good day, when they're in a good mood and when things in their life are generally hunky dory. However, when it comes to loving someone when they are in their worst of times – that becomes a completely different story. We often claim to love but rarely do we truly know what it means to love our partner unconditionally. In marriage, the commitment we make to our partner does not depend on the conditions of the relationship nor our lives. We don't vow to love our partner only in health, richness and until we feel otherwise. We vow to love our partner through all the good and especially through all the bad. Before we can truly say we love, we need to ask ourselves the question of; would we go through hell with and for our partner? Would we still choose to be there for them when life challenges the both of us most?
We would like to shed light on how important it is to ask ourselves this question and to truly know how we feel about loving our partner through thick and thin. Every single one of us can love just about anyone when they are happy and when things are going great in their lives (and vice versa) – but it takes another level of love, the true kind to still want to be with someone when times are extremely tough. Below are some of the things that can be considered as 'hell', which any of us could go through at any time and at any point in the relationship. Take into consideration whether we would still want to stick around through it all.
1. The loss of a job: Losing a job for anyone can be difficult enough, but when our partner loses it in a way that is sudden and unpleasant (being fired or a breakdown in the company) it can really take a toll on their self-esteem and confidence. At times like these, would we support our partner even though it may take a long time until they get back on their feet? Would we stick around if losing their job means that they will not be making as much money as before? Is our love conditional in terms of only loving our partner because they had a certain income? Imagine our partner having to go back from scratch, would that affect how we feel about them and about having a future with them?
2. In sickness (mentally or physically): This could possibly be considered as one of the hardest things to go through with our partner – seeing them unwell mentally and/or physically. Whether we may like it or not there is always a possibility that our partner may suffer from an illness. And during that time, they may lose parts of themselves that we may not be able to recognize anymore. Accidents can happen where they may be impacted physically – would we still love them through that? When our partner is going through difficulties with their mental health, whether that is depression or anxiety – would we still understand that they are still the same person deep inside but is currently in need of some help? Again, it is easy to love someone when they remain the same person forever however, illnesses happen so how do we love then?
3. In times of trouble: When we fell in love with our partner things in their lives could be wonderful. No problems or issues with their families and they are getting along fine with their friends or things at work are good. What happens however, when things outside of the relationship begins to be difficult for them? Our partner can have conflicts with their family members or their friends – would we still support them through it all or choose to go against them as well? If our partner needs someone to talk to, to listen to their feelings and concerns – would we be willing to be there for them? Sometimes it can be difficult to always have our partner's back, however in marriage this is the commitment we need to make. Under any circumstances, we must be our partner's number one source of support.
4. Physical changes: If we fell in love with our partner because of their physical appearance and how much we adore how they look – would we still love them if their physical appearance begins to fade later down the road? Some of us may have fallen in love and stayed in love with our partner because of how good they look and though it may not be the only reason, it plays a big role in the relationship. However, as we grow older things may change – our partner may start either gaining or losing weight, they may start to lose their hair and/or change the type of clothes they wear. Whatever the physical changes may be – would we still love them even if they may look completely different to how they looked when we first fell in love? Take into consideration that our physical appearance does not and will not last for very long. Is the love we share with our partner greater than any physical conditions or is it restricted to that?
5. Issues within the relationship: Things outside of the relationship can very well come with difficulties like we have mentioned before, however, problems and changes can also arise within the relationship. It is easy to love our partner when we are getting along with them just fine; when there is still excitement, passion and a strong sexual attraction. However, sometimes we may go through bumps in the road and start to argue a lot, disagree on small as well as big things and experience boredom in the relationship. Would we still love our partner even when we may not necessarily like them at the moment? Would we still stay committed even though issues in the relationship can feel quite overwhelming? Would we still remain faithful and loyal even though the relationship can feel stale? We are bound to run into problems within the relationship – it is inevitable. The key is to stay committed especially when we feel tested.
If we expect to have a long lasting and loving relationship, we must take into consideration loving our partner when things are not going well inside or outside the relationship. When we are able to imagine going through the worst of times with our partner and would still choose them over and over again above anyone else to go through life with and the challenges it brings – then we have ourselves true love. Going through heaven with anyone is easy, but it takes someone truly special to go through hell with.
