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A lot of us have been brought up to believe that having conflicts is bad. We have been taught that fighting or arguing in general is something we should not be charging into. It is no wonder that in our romantic relationships we end up wanting to avoid confrontations or uncomfortable conversations with our partner as they may often lead to arguments. But, the fact of the matter is that it is impossible to be in any type of relationships, especially romantic ones, and have zero conflicts or arguments. We are all different and no matter how much of a match we may be for our partner, there will still be things that we will disagree on. That is completely normal and it should, in fact, be expected. Therefore, as much as we would like to avoid fighting, in order to have a successful relationship, arguments should be seen as opportunities for better things to come to our relationships instead of the opposite.
There are plenty of benefits that can come from arguing before marriage. Through arguments we are much more able to understand our partner's perspectives and vice versa. Arguments allow us a chance to keep learning not only about our partners but also ourselves – our own flaws, weaknesses as well as strengths. Overcoming conflicts together makes our commitment grow stronger as well because if we can fight then we have the power to survive. The fact that we can learn to respect our partner in times of trouble and anger allows trust to grow further within the relationship. Intimacy also deepens as we continue to pull through hard times together with our partner and this will in return spice things up in the bedroom as well. When we begin to look at arguments as opportunities in disguise for us to grow stronger as a couple then we will no longer fear them or avoid them.
Couples that argue before marriage end up having more successful marriages compared to couples that rarely argue or avoid confrontations out of fear. It is often the case of what the couples have been through together prior to marriage that matters most. Those who have endured tough times together and have had to practice their commitment to one another are more prone to staying together for a long time. Whereas couples that enter marriage too quickly, end up experiencing more stress and conflicts in their first year of marriage, as they had not endured arguments beforehand. It is vital for us to understand that having arguments does not equal to unsuccessful relationship and vice versa. It is not about whether we argue or not but it is about what happens after the arguments are over and done with.
So, next time a conflict happens between in your relationships, do not feel disappointed. Simply be open to the fact that you could learn something from the experience and that it is only going to bring better things to your relationships.
