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Have you ever been in a situation where you are a witness to your friend's unhealthy relationship? Your friend comes to you crying and complaining about how much she is hurting in the relationship and how things just keep getting worse and worse. You try to be there for her at all cost because you care. However, you keep hearing the same horrible stories about how her partner is treating her again and again.
You begin to wonder whether you should say something or not. It's one thing when you are going through it yourself but what are you supposed to do when it is your friend who is in a toxic relationship? Should you say or do something or should you just keep your opinions to yourself? The truth is when you are able to speak into your friend's life, but you choose not to do it, that's on you. But when you choose to speak into her life and she doesn't listen, that's on her.
You must do what you can to help. When you see your friend suffer on a regular basis because of the relationship she is in, not saying or doing anything about it would be like sitting back and allowing all of this mess to happen. As a friend, you have the chance to bring light into the darkness that your friend is currently in. When you have the opportunity to possibly make a positive change in her life and you do not take it, that is you not being a real friend. You may have a fear of saying something that your friend do not want to hear, but isn't the point of friendship to have someone who can always be honest with you? Take the role you have as a friend to tell it like it is. For all you know, your friend could really use your input in this but you won't know unless you try.
When you decide to be honest to your friend and give your input, the first thing you need to do is to make sure to deliver your message with truth and kindness. Do not start attacking your friend personally or shaming her as that will only backfire. Try your best to come from a genuine place and let her know that the only reason you are saying something about her relationship is because you care.
The second is to accept the fact that your friend might not listen to you. Sometimes, no matter what you say or do to help your friend wake up and see her relationship for what it is, they may simply not be ready to walk away from it. This will, of course, be frustrating for you, however, take comfort in knowing that you've already done your part. The point of being her friend is to be honest and to be there for her and to be there to catch her when she falls. There is really nothing more you can or should be doing, when you have already tried but your friend isn't listening, but that shouldn't stop you from telling her what's right.
