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Sometimes the moments leading up to the big day can make you feel all sorts of emotions, which you may have never felt before. One of the most confusing emotions to feel during your engagement would probably be feeling unsure or in doubt of whether or not marrying your fiancé is such a good idea. Bare in mind that having doubts whether strong or not can really catch you off guard. You can end up feeling extremely guilty for feeling it in the first place and worried that this might be a sign that marriage may not the right path to go to. You may also wonder if what you are feeling is merely cold feet or if it's actually something bigger than that.
Trying to tell whether or not what you are feeling is a valid reason to call off the wedding can really be difficult especially when you are already far down the line of planning your wedding.
This article helps you to figure out when it is okay to cancel your wedding and when you should probably hold on to it instead. Cancelling a big and special event such as your wedding is most definitely not an easy decision to make and requires a lot of thinking. So, before you decide on anything, please consider these things first and see where you actually stand.
Don't cancel your wedding when...
1. You were perfectly happy with your partner and the relationship but recently you started getting the cold feet. When you feel unsure about going ahead with the wedding but you are absolutely happy aside from that – talk to your partner about it. This reason should not be the go ahead sign for a wedding to be called off because it does not hold any grounds. Talk it out with someone before making any rash decisions over temporary nerves.
2. You notice you find other men attractive. Guess what? We are human beings and it is completely normal to be attracted to other people, to desire others or to even feel tempted once in a while. The most important thing is that you are not going to do anything about it. Your attraction to someone else or other people are not signs of a bigger problem. It simply means you are a normal human being who can appreciate physical beauty when you see it.
3. You are feeling bored with your relationship. If the relationship is starting to feel stale for you – do something about it but don't cancel the wedding. Make some changes and shake things up a bit. Break the routine you both might have fallen into without realizing and have some fun with each other again. Boredom should not be a reason to call of a wedding or to break up with someone. It is simply a sign telling you that you may want to try something different with your partner - that's all.
4. You said, "Yes" to the question of "Will you marry me?" with the utmost certainty and excitement. Trust your initial reaction to the moment when you were asked to marry your partner. If you were jumping with joy and could not control your emotions because of how happy you were then you are making the right decision. We cannot fake happiness when it is to that extent. Trust your reaction and remind yourself of it every once in a while at times when you may have doubts.
It's okay to cancel your wedding when...
1. You really want to have children in the future but he does not, ever. Do not underestimate someone's decision to either want children or to not want them ever. Baby talk is absolutely necessary to have prior to the wedding. You would be surprised at how adamant some people are with their decisions. Hoping that your partner might change his mind about children in the future is like setting yourself up for an even bigger disappointment later on. If you have strong feelings about this, it might be wise to consider not going ahead with the wedding until at the very least you both can come to some compromise.
2. There are many, many red flags and unresolved issues in the relationship already to which trying to fix them have come to no avail. Whatever problems you are facing right now within the relationship – those problems will only double if not triple once you are married. There is no such thing as a marriage being the solution to relationship issues. The only thing it will do is magnify them. If it is that hard for you and your to overcome problems then you both might not be ready for a marriage just yet.
3. The only reason you decided to marry him was due to feeling pressured. This is probably one of the worst reasons to marry someone – out of pressure whether that's from family members or even your partner himself. One of the main reasons of you saying yes to a marriage proposal should be because you want to. Agreeing to a marriage because you feel you have to can only take you so far into marital bliss. Resentment is bound to creep in and become the foundation of your marriage. Is that truly what you want for yourself as well as your partner's future?
4. If either you or your partner want to marry in order to change one another. If you don't like your partner for who he is right now (and vice versa) then chances are you still won't like him after marriage. Do not fall into the idea that a marriage might turn things around for the better. Take a look at the present and focus on that because it is the preview of the upcoming future. If things are not great right now, it will not be later on. Marry someone who you are already happy with and not feel the need to change – only then can you have true happiness within your marriage.
