Photography: Jessica Lorren
What exactly is the 7-year itch in a marriage? The 7-year itch is a psychological term that suggests happiness in a relationship declines after around the seventh year period of a marriage. People often describe this 'itch' as an inclination to become unfaithful to your spouse. It is very common for married couples to go through this itch and we are sure that hearing about this might give some of you a bit of anxiety. So, how can we best avoid this itch to happen in the first place and if it does in fact happen, how do we best handle it? Here are a few advices that might help.
We All Need Excitement!
It is important to understand that as a human being we need both certainty (security, familiarity, consistency, etc.) as well as uncertainty (adventures, unpredictability, etc.). How these two come to play in a relationship is in having, both, passion as well as friendship. We may feel a strong sexual spark towards our partner in the beginning, but we tend to let that spark go and allow comfort to walk in to take over. So, in order to keep that passion going, you have to be able to be both the 'librarian' and the 'stripper'. This, obviously, goes for your partner as well. When you start dismissing each other's needs to feel excitement once in a while, say hello to other people looking way more attractive than your partner does to you.
Be Aware of The Illusion!
Now, although you may have tried your best to keep things exciting and passionate sometimes reality just kicks in and makes it hard. All of a sudden the things you found to be endearing and adorable in the beginning, now just irritates you! And when that man in your office or your next-door neighbor comes to talk to you, all of a sudden, they look so much more appealing. Do not be fooled by this illusion, ladies! Feeling a strong attraction towards another person does not mean it is a sign for you to stray. It just means you need to have a serious conversation with your partner about how you have been feeling and come to a solution together. The grass may look greener on the other side but, as soon as you walk over to that grass, you will be wishing you could go back.
Communicate Your Needs and Talk It Out.
In a marriage, you must be each other's biggest supporters and that means always being there to make sure the other person is happy. If for some reason, no matter what you do or try to tell yourself, that itch is still very much there - speak with your partner about it. Focus on what it is that you feel is missing in the relationship and have an open conversation about how you can both serve each other better. When our needs are not met and we do not communicate it, it leaves room for other people to fulfill those needs. Instead of going elsewhere, always go to your partner first and talk it out.
