Photography: Atlanta Family
When you're dating, everything is sailing perfectly in your life. Then one day, you wake up and you're married. Things are no longer as simple as they used to be when you were two people. You are no longer two, but one. Decisions that concern both of your wellbeing cannot be made by one party only; it has to be an agreement made by the both of you. Sure, when it comes to laundry, or dishes, or other household errands, you can agree to disagree about the share of the responsibility. You'd have your occasional mini quarrels about it, but then you'll get over it and go back to being the loving couple that you are.
In the early parts of marriage, there will be a lot of rough edges that you will need to smoothen out together. There are a lot of things that you will have to eventually come to agree upon, together. Sure, there are things that will only come up as you go along, but you will have to learn to roll with the punches and reach mutual understanding at every turn. However, when children come into the picture, there will be double the decisions that you will have to make at half the time. It is, of course, helpful to agree on a couple of parenting things before your children come along. Here are some of the things that you might want to think about:
1.Who will be the primary caretaker of the children?
If you are both working, will one of you decide to stay home after having children? Who will spend most of the time in caring for the children?
2.What kinds of rules will you apply around the house?
Will you adhere to a certain routines? Will you set a strict bedtime, studying or family time?
3.What are the certain qualities that you wish your children to have?
And how do you think you can help him/her to achieve it?
There will be a time when standing by the decision you make together as parents to your children will be hard for both of you. There will come a time when the people around you ─ your parents, your friends, and even your own children ─ make you want to just abandon the decisions that you have made together as a couple and follow your instincts and make a new decision entirely. However, parenting isn't something you want to go at alone. Parenting is a team effort. And for a team to work, it needs unity. Present a united front for your children and you will achieve the goals that you have made for yourselves.
Whatever season your relationship is in today, whether you are just about to get married or you are recently married or you are waiting for your children to arrive, take this time to think about the standards you wish to apply in your home as a couple.
