Photography: Phil Chester
Some of us feel that the length of a relationship is all that matters. We have the idea that as long as we have been together with our partner for a certain amount of time before we walk downs the aisle, we will be guaranteed happiness. However, we found through our non-scientific research, that how long you date doesn't necessary determine how successful you and your partner will be in marriage.
We know of some married couples who have been together for less than a year before tying the knot and who are now still very much happily married. On the other hand, there are couples who dated for almost a decade yet ended their relationship and got married with someone else not long after the breakup. This misconception we have about "timing tells all" really does not give any indication of whether or not a relationship will be successful in the future.
Time alone cannot give us a confirmation on future happiness as a relationship is about so much more than that.
1. It is about the trust that is between you and your partner
Can you truly count on your partner to have your back (and vice versa?)? Without trust, none of the other elements of what makes a relationship great will have much meaning. Evaluate your partner's trustworthiness based upon a strong overall record of dependability, not upon unproven promises or wishful thinking. A relationship is about the bliss and passion! You could be with someone for so many years and not feel blissful and passionate in the relationship. You deserve a great feeling of certainty from your partner and from yourself. You deserve more than just getting by, doing the best that you can or hanging in there. A relationship is work, however there is a difference between deeply loving someone and making an effort and trying to fix a wound out of fear of being alone or of hurting someone's feelings. Do not settle for a mediocre version of love because you deserve the real deal.
2. It is about bringing out the best in each other and lifting each other up
Fundamentally, you want to ask yourself do you like the person that you are in this relationship? Do your better self show up when you are with your partner? The connection and communication in a great relationship is supposed to be uplifting, inspiring, comforting and accepting. Love is not meant to hurt, criticize or attack you – it is meant to bring you joy and happiness. The minute you put the length of your relationship first before the depth of the love between you and your partner, you have already tainted the future.
So, how long you date doesn't amount to the success of your relationship. Your effort does. Remind yourself again of what is important – your feelings and happiness - the ones that cannot be measured by time.
