Having a relationship with someone who lives in a different city or country must have challenges, but it doesn't mean it is impossible. Five couples proved that distance and less physical contact did not hold them to be confident in continuing the relationship into a marriage. Had been in a successful long-distance relationship (LDR), they gladly share some do's and don'ts according to their own experiences.
Tasya & Randy
LDR period: 5.5 years
Year(s) of marriage: 1 year
Distances: Jakarta - Bandung, USA - Singapore & Batam
Do's:
1. Building trust proved by being committed, appreciating my partner and the value of our relationship, as well as being faithful.
2. Having a good communication by being open, expressing loves, and showing an initiative to contact him/her.
3. Doing some positive things to channel your energy into productive activities.
Don'ts:
1. Overthinking.
2. Hold a grudge for too long
3.Being too possessive.
See our exclusive coverage of Tasya Kamila and Randy Bachtiar's wedding on this link.
Laya & Wisnu
LDR period: 9 years
Year(s) of marriage: 4 year
Distances: Singapore - Jakarta, Jakarta - Dubai & USA
Do's:
1. Trust each other because it is impossible to always check on each other.
2. Have constant communication. Since there is a time difference, do not hesitate to spare time to contact him/her at least once a day.
3. Prepare a small surprise to keep the romance stays. You don't need to come over. Instead, you can just mail the gift or ask help to a nearby acquaintance.
Don'ts:
1. Lie because when you're on a fight, it can make everything worse.
2. Let problems stay. Don't leave it hanging, and look for a solution immediately.
3. Less initiative in communicating with your partner. Appreciate his/her feeling by updating your recent condition without he/she even asks.
Nurul & Didik
LDR period: 9 years (3 years in relationship + 6 years of marriage)
Distances: Bandung - Jakarta, Jakarta - Lampung & Semarang
Do's:
1. Having an honest and open communication
2. Showing a commitment during family time, as well as quality time with your spouse (including sex) and the children when all of you either at the same or different time zone.
3. Deciding a choice that respects yourself, your spouse, and your children.
Don'ts:
1. Cheating/unfaithfulness, including making a transaction with an opposite-sex person without noticing your spouse, sending flirting message to someone else, and prostitution.
2. Difficult to reach out.
3. Losing respect for your spouse.
Indah & Reky
LDR period: 1 year
Year(s) of marriage: 3 year
Distances: Jakarta - Hannover/Frankfurt
Do's:
1. Trusting each other.
2. Sending compliments, motivating messages, or other small things to make him/her always remember you.
3. Looking for various activities to prevent a feeling of anxious thinking about your long-distant lover.
Don'ts:
1. Unreasonable jealousy.
2. Pushing him/her for irrelevant reasons. Each of you has your own routines. You cannot force him/her to always tune in with your circumstances regarding the distance and the time difference.
3. No news even went "missing". Try to make contact also if it is only short notice.
Petty & Jordan
LDR period: 3 years
Year(s) of marriage: 1 year
Distances: Bali - Jakarta, Jakarta - Switzerland
Do's:
1. Extra patience. For me, extra distance = extra effort, but it was all worth.
2. Extra trust in each other.
3. Less ego.
4. Spend time to watch a movie together through a video call.
Don'ts:
1. Exaggerating problems. Just let small problem slides.
2. Concluding an assumption too soon.
3. Being too repressive. Simply keep each other's trust.
See our coverage of Petty & Jordan's wedding on Bridestory Magazine Volume 7 and their prewedding on this link.
