Some newlyweds decide to postpone an offspring, and some don't. Whatever you decide, every couple should be both enthusiastic and anxious when expecting their firstborn. These are few things newlyweds should know when expecting a first child.
Mental preparation
- Make sure the desire to have children came from you and your spouse. According to Christina Holmes, Senior Editor of Parentstory and a mother of a toddler, it is an important statement to make sure your readiness as an upcoming parent. "Don't get pregnant only to satisfy your families and surroundings' wish because it cannot measure how exactly ready you are," she said. You and your partner should agree on parenting plans and methods, as well as are willing to collaborate and co-parenting.
- Having a healthy marriage foundation is an asset to build mental preparation as parents. "It needs happy parents to make a happy child," Dr. Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sex consultant, stated. There will be many new things and challenges when a child is born. Thus, a supportive husband-wife relationship should exist since the beginning. Parents need to be on each other's back when they are growing a child.
Financial preparation
This preparation includes every cost that should be allocated before you are pregnant until the birth. Before making a financial plan, you and your partner should conduct a medical check-up, even before the wedding, to know your physical conditions and genetical anomaly (if any) that are hereditary. Consequently, you can plan prevention actions and prepare the necessary budget.
In general, the financial preparation is divided into three steps:
- Before labor/during pregnancy
Medical consultation and USG will be your routine programs until the baby is born. The budget is between IDR 500,000 and IDR 1,000,000 per month.
- Labor & delivery
It is recommended to prepare for two laboring chances: normal and caesar. The laboring budget at a private hospital for the VIP room starts from IDR 15 million for normal and IDR 30 million for caesar.
- After labor
The cost for child vaccination and medical consultation (if sick) you need to cover is between IDR 700,000 - IDR 1,500,000 every month until the child is two years old.
Christina admitted that she had started to allocate the budget when she found out about her pregnancy. The prepared funds were for the needs during her pregnancy until labor day. After that, she and her husband started to plan for the baby's daily needs.
Other Needs
- Savings and insurance
Besides preparing the fund to welcome your first child, you and your spouse should also prepare for the child's future. Other than bank savings for daily necessities, you are advised to consider long-term savings, such as a deposit. Don't forget to subscribe to insurance for yourself during pregnancy, then for your newborn.
- Parenting system at home
Is it you or your spouse that will be a stay-at-home parent? Or, will you ask help from your parents or a professional baby sitter? It should be decided carefully, as well as considering the pros and cons.
- Child's daily needs
From clothes, diapers, hygiene equipment, to toys, those additional necessities are inevitable. Christina suggested parents-to-be to make a wish list. Thus, when your friends or family relatives present gifts, they can refer to the list. It will naturally ease your expenses.
Did you know that 24% of mothers and 20% of fathers having light symptoms of depression in nine months since their child was born? This study from The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry also stated other symptoms of postpartum depression, such as sadness, fatigue, reduced libido, crying episodes, anxiety, irritability, and changes in sleeping and eating patterns. Therefore, the preparation to have an offspring is not a myth since a parent's task is not easy. However, if you have a strong marriage foundation, having a child can strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Based on Hilda Hutcherson, a professor at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons and the author of Sex and the Baby Years, married couples should not stop being lovers, even once you take on the roles of mother and father.
