Jane wondered if her husband, John would remember their 8th anniversary. He had forgotten for some years, but this year he remembered. He found a lovely card; assured it would please his wife. When he handed her the card, she beamed. After reading it though, her countenance turned dark.
"It's not bad . . . for a birthday card," she scowled.
John was startled at her anger. He meant well. The outside writings are great, but he had failed to read the inside. Despite his explanation of it being an honest mistake, his wife said he doesn't care and is unloving. Feeling disrespected, he excuses himself and went to the office.
In every normal relationship, there will certainly be one of these days. Conflicts like these shouldn't happen if couples know this little secret that is extremely powerful.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs, experts in male-female relationships developed the love and respect principle. Its basic notion, is that women need love and men need respect as much as they need air to breathe. Research conducted to 7000 people asking the same question: "during a conflict with your significant other, do you feel disrespected or unloved?" came out with results: 72% women said unloved, and 83% men said disrespected.
To overcome this, Emmerson and Sarah introduced The Energizing Cycle: his love motivates her respect, her respect motivates his love. As women need love and men need respect to breathe, this concept is essential to know to keep a relationship healthy and most importantly, alive. Metaphorically speaking, not giving the "air" your partner needs is no different with suffocating them. And nothing good ever comes out of a suffocated person in a relationship.
Tricky part is, as opposed to what one is supposed to show to their partner, love comes easier to women as respect is easy for men. Thus one needs to put in extra effort to create a properly functioning cycle. Now that this secret is out, we say it's worth the try. Whether you are a man or woman, try to give what your partner seeks. And witness a healthy living relationship, coming your way.
