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We have all heard the famous saying that "love is blind". That love makes people see only the good in their partner and ignore all the bad. That a person in love sees the color red as green and green as red because everything becomes blurry through their eyes. So, is it actually true that love causes us the inability to see our partners for who they really are? Why is it that so often people choose to stay in relationships with people who bring them more pain than happiness?
The blind part of being in love has got nothing to do with love in the first place. It isn't love that blinds us, but our lack of self-worth that does. Sure, when we love a person we accept them for who they are flaws and all. But, there is a difference between seeing your partner's flaws and still loving him anyway versus allowing your partner to cause you over and over again.
If we stay in a relationship that does not serve us well, brings out the worst in us and makes us feel small, the question we should ask ourselves is: why do we let ourselves be treated in such a way? And the answer to that would be: we accept the kinds of relationships we think we deserve.
Love can never blind you when you know your own self-worth and value. The type of relationship we are in reflects how much we value ourselves. When we lack self-worth, we tend to seek validation in someone else's love, which is the reason why we accept pain. The fact of the matter is that no person would accept negative treatments from their partner if they do not feel they deserve it.
If your relationship is the source of your sadness, find out the reason why you allow yourself to be treated in such a way. Get to the root cause of the problem. We all have our own reasons for why we do the things we do. It may be that you grew up never feeling loved, accepted or validated therefore you seek all those things in someone else. It may also be that your parents had or still have a toxic relationship and you grew up witnessing the fights and arguments on a regular basis. For someone who grew up never feeling enough, it can be extremely difficult to recognize unhealthy relationships when they are in one.
With self-worth comes the ability to see things clearly rather than through a blind eye. Change your worth to change the circumstances of your relationship. When we put ourselves first, not only are we inviting the kinds of relationships that actually serves us well but we are also inviting the types of people in our lives that values us the same way. Remember that the relationship you are in now is a reflection of your self-worth. We need to do right by us, before we expect others to do the same.
