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We've all heard that "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" thus the way men and women communicate is different. It requires well-seasoned skills from both sides to be able to communicate well with each other and thus achieving a great relationship. However, being bound by marriage, communication does not get any easier. If anything, it gets even more difficult. It takes an even more comprehensive skill to talk about tough issues that need to be solved by means of good communication.
Being comfortable with your husband is a good sign in a marriage, but to be comfortable doesn't mean that you can talk about what ever and how ever you like it. You need to develop tact - especially in a marriage - because one wrong word can cause a big disaster.
The trick is to precondition the talk. Preconditioning is a very important step before you bring up an issue. Before the talk begins, you need to raise his awareness towards a possible problem. This preconditioning isn't just for him; it's for you too. It will give you the time you need to relax, manage your emotions, structure your talk, and prepare yourself to accept his reactions. If the topic you are looking to bring up is a serious one, pick a good time to talk to your husband, or ask him when would be best to talk to him. It's best if you don't burst everything out when he just got home from work or when he's feeling like he has a lot on his mind.
Preconditioning the talk also allows you to gain control over what you're saying. Don't let the emotion overcome you. Whatever you have to say, say it calmly, gently, and with love. This way, you will have a bigger chance of making him listen to you. It is also important for you to think of ways to relate to your husband on the subject, to seek to understand him, to acknowledge him, and to make him feel appreciated and honored whatever the circumstances are.
To start a good conversation, throw some warm-up questions. No matter how unexpected his answers would be, try your best to respond without judging him. The objective is to bring up something important, to find solutions, so don't be too quick to judge his reactions and responses.
Men don't open up that easily and that sometimes frustrates the women. To get the insights of a man, we have to express our interest first. This is to let him know that it's is okay to express something, to have the feeling of wanting something. Let him talk, get the big picture and you'll get the insights. Through preconditioning the talk, you set the stage for the topic to come out in a conducive environment, and therefore, allowing you to reach your objective without having to get emotionally worked up. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Any ways to make it better is surely worth trying, wouldn't you think so?
