Photography: Barnaby Aldrick Wedding Photography
Preparing the wedding toast can be a distressing time for many who have never raised their glasses in front of hundreds of people, or are unable to put pen to paper. Hector Tan, vice president of public relations from the Toastmasters Club of Singapore, dishes out practical tips to put your wedding toast together, while avoiding any major faux pas.
START WITH A STORY
A toast is a simple act of bringing to attention a trait or quality that is admirable of a person. It is also to create goodwill and pay brief respect to a person or an occasion. It's best to speak from the heart. Make a statement about a certain admirable trait that everyone can easily relate to or recount a story that speaks of the amazing personality of the person. For example, talk about how the bride is a perfectionist and always makes sure a job is well done. Or, tell a story about how you came to know of the groom and one thing about him that makes you remember him fondly.
LAY OFF THE DRINKS
Never use alcohol as means to counter nervousness. It's one thing to lose focus and make a fool of yourself, but this increases the chances of you committing the greatest crime a person can ever commit when making a wedding toast — talking about yourself! If you can't handle the fear of public speaking, consider getting a partner to make the toast together with you.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Practice your toast before the event as many times as it takes for you to be able to make the speech confidently. If you can't handle the fear of public speaking, once you get everyone's attention, admit your fear of public speaking before starting. This helps to quell nerves. Plus, the crowd will always warm up to a sincere speaker who is honest about his feelings!
USE MEMORABLE QUOTES
If you're married, you can offer a bit of advice on how to maintain a happy marriage. This is a chance to add a bit of humour. Memorable quotes also light up the atmosphere. Here's a funny one: "Men are like floor tiles. If you lay them right, you can walk over them the rest of your life!"
THINK K.I.S.S.
Keep it short and sweet (Kiss); about two to three minutes. If you've more to say, keep it below five minutes. When in doubt, showing gratitude is always the best policy, especially to parents and relatives followed by the people who helped organise and execute the event.
KEEP THINGS CLEAN
Remember, the toast is about the bride and groom and other people in the room, never about you. Avoid inside jokes, as the topic must be something that everyone can relate to. Never air dirty laundry, which includes past relationships, bad dating or sexual experiences. Also do look at the person/s you're giving the toast to. And remember to look at the audience occasionally, as you were the one who called them to attention in the first place.
ORDER OF THE DAY
Who speaks first, second and third? Here's the usual order for a wedding dinner — the best man, fathers from both sides, the groom, bride, mothers from both sides (optional), relatives and friends of family, and lastly, the maid of honour.
