Photography: People/Benfield Photograhy
So the honeymoon period is over and you're back to the daily grind of work, bills, chores…ugh. Soon you'll come to a point where the spouse's quirks, which were once very endearing, are starting to irritate you. Welcome to marriage!
The trick is to be able to laugh it off and remind yourself of your partner's redeeming qualities. Just how do we strike the perfect balance of commitment, intimacy and passion (according to Robert Sternberg's Triangle of Love)? Start with these five things.
Go on date nights (even if you have children)
Schedule regular date nights at least once a week or fortnightly. Then take turns to plan these dates and decide who shall pay. You can even alternate who decides on which movie to watch. But please don't force him to watch Fifty Shades of Grey or Magic Mike with you…save that for the girls!
Don't focus on the bad
As the saying goes, bad habits are hard to quit. Learn to accept those traits instead of being quick to pinpoint their flaws. If your partner's quirk is really bothering you, talk it out instead of suppressing it. And remember…never use words like "you always" and "you never".
Know your spouse's preferred love language
Understanding your partner's love language helps to keep the relationship perfectly balanced. If your partner preferred love language is 'acts of service,' then do small things that touch his heart. If he complains that you are not spending enough time with him, it may be because his love language is 'quality time!'
Quantity with quality
It is important to spend time with your spouse, but if your definition of spending time just means sitting on the couch watching TV together, then it may not have much quality to it. So switch the telly off, put down the gadgets and do something together that you both can derive value from…cooking maybe, walking the dog together, planning a spur-of-the-moment treetop walk…the list goes on.
Avoid deal breakers at all cost
Take your marriage vows seriously and avoid dangerous deal breakers. That includes infidelity, abuse and lack of respect for your partner and/or his family members.
