Let's be honest here, for most of us the topic of your partner's past romantic relationships is never an easy one to hear or talk about. If we could have it our way, we would much rather preferred if our husband's past didn't include any women before we came along. Although we may not fully like it, the past ─ especially his past ─ is something that we just have to accept.
Realistically speaking, there is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing your partner's past, and vice versa, because that is a part of being in a relationship. However, if your husband's past girlfriends just so happen to still be in his life and the friendship they have is bothersome to you ─ how should you best handle the situation?
Talk about it
If the presence of an ex-girlfriend makes you feel very uncomfortable then the number one thing you should do is to talk to your husband about it. Communication is the key. Tell him how you feel about their relationship. Bear in mind that when you are communicating how you feel, you must also allow your husband to have a say in the matter. Let him in on how the friendship that he has with his ex-girlfriend has been making you feel uneasy and try to come up with a solution where you both can feel comfortable.
Stay cool
Clearly, when the presence of your husband's ex is really starting to feel inappropriate to you, the first thing you may want to do is to take it into your own hands and do some damage control. But ladies, if your husband's ex are speaking to him in a way that is beyond friend territory then this is something that your husband should be dealing with – not you. Attacking your husband and the ex is never a good remedy for this uncomfortable situation, no matter how badly you want to do it. Steer clear from any form of threats or anger towards the ex and remain as calm, cool and collected as possible whilst letting your husband in on how you are feeling.
When it comes to the matter of the ex, there is no way to say what is appropriate and what is not, as well as what solutions must be in place because every couple will be different. Being friends with an ex should not be an issue. However, when the boundaries are very grey and there really isn't a real platonic friendship going on then this is something that your husband should be discouraging straight away. At the end of the day, it all goes back to what makes you and your partner feel comfortable. So, be honest with how you feel and communicate it, come up with a solution to make things better and then move forward together.
