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It would be a wonderful notion to think that love will conquer all and that our past or backgrounds will not matter much as long as there is love. In reality, however, that idea doesn't really work. Unfortunately. Take any two people of the same exact backgrounds and you will still find differences between them. And no matter how small those differences may be, it can still create a lot of issues in the relationship if it is not dealt with properly.
We Can Have 1,000 Similarities but It Only Takes 1 Difference to Ruin a Relationship
How we were brought up, the type of education we received and the experiences we have had throughout our lives really do shape the person that we are right now. Things such as how our parents speak to one another, the food we are used to eating, the family culture we grew up with, etc. will influence the way we are in our relationships. Even our romantic relationships.
Let's take for example, our educational backgrounds. Those who studied, let's say, science may think more logically and systematically when compared to those who studied art and have a more abstract way of thinking. Our career choices, our circle of friends, our hobbies… it all play a huge part in shaping who we are as a person.
How can we deal with these differences? In order to not allow differences, whether big or small, to dictate or create riffs within the relationship, it is important to talk about it openly. When we talk about differences, we put ourselves in a vulnerable position.
To be vulnerable in the courting period means we enter marriage stronger. We may have the tendency to feel very comfortable with ourselves and what we have been used to, but then when it comes to our partners we end up wanting to change their habits, even though it is for these reasons that we fell in love with our partners in the first place.
When there are differences in regards to you and your partner's backgrounds, it is important to remain as respectful as possible with one another. Try to look at these differences simply as room to for the two of you to get to know each other better and for the relationship to grow. Be as open to learning and as understanding as you can because this is the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Remember, the way they grew up have made them the person they are right now.
Can you identify some of the differences you have with your partner, with regards to your background? Have you ever had any fights over it? How did you solve it? Differences do not always have to be a bad thing. The only way differences can ruin your relationship is if you both are resistant to making room for compromises. Look for similarities but also embrace the difference that exists between your backgrounds. After all, you did fall in love with each other because of them.
