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"Dear Bridestory, my fiancé and I have been together for quite a long time now and our relationship has been a very steady one. However, in a discussion with my fiance about sex, he confessed that he would like to have a threesome with another girl. The first thing I felt was a pang of worry because the idea came out of nowhere. I want to be able to give him the experience but I am also scared because of what this might mean for our relationship, is he not satisfied? Should I give it a go or just say I don't want to? I'm not sure!" - ShockedandConfused
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Dear ShockedandConfused,
You must have been very shocked at your fiancé's sexual desire and it did sound like it came out of the blue considering how your relationship had been a very steady one. What you need to understand is that threesomes can be extremely confusing, messy, complicated, and can cause a lot of problems to a relationship. Relationships can get ruined and trust can also be broken therefore. Threesome is basically against the concept of monogamy and faithfulness so it's not okay to have sex with anyone other than your spouse. Now that he's already thinking about it, it could be a major sign of potential infidelity.
For some men, wanting a threesome could literally be because they are curious about how it would feel and they want to experience it with the person they love. For others however, the idea might have come out of fear of a boring sex life later on and then offer other suggestions to spice up the sex life in the future. Whatever your partner's reasoning is, you have every right to know and only then will you be able to truly decide whether you want to go ahead and experience something like that with him or not. However, there are always other ways that you both could spice up your sex life as married couple, if that is the issue at hand and a threesome is certainly not the answer for that.
Sex should always be completely consensual and both parties must feel absolutely comfortable in order for it to be a good as well as a respectful experience. Under no circumstances should you or your partner ever feel that you are being forced or pressured to do something you do not feel comfortable doing. If your partner keeps on insisting or trying to change your mind even though you have already said it isn't something you want to do – then please, consider this as a red flag. Your partner especially someone who you plan on spending the rest of your life with should always respect your wants and needs. At the end of the day, if you really don't want to do something, then you shouldn't have to do it regardless of what your partner say. If he cannot let it go and accept your decline in his suggestion then it is time to reconsider your relationship entirely and truly look at what is going on behind all of this.
