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"Dear Bridestory, I am a single girl looking for a relationship. My problem is that I've always been very shy and clueless when it comes to talking to guys. I get super nervous and tongue-tied that I end up feeling and looking awkward. I would appreciate any advice on how I should be acting around guys so that I don't look like a complete loser in front of them. I just want to be able to hang out with guys who I also might potentially like. Please help!" - CluelessGirl
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Dear CluelessGirl,
First of all, this is a great question to be asking, as a lot of girls tend to feel confused and unsure about how they should be acting around guys, especially guys they find attractive. So, don't you worry, as this is a common difficulty and one that you can most definitely overcome with just a few tricks and tips. First things first, what you need to really understand and let sink in is the fact that 'guys' are just human beings – with their own insecurities and self-consciousness. So, when you walk into a room full of guys or when you join a group of guys, try not to immediately think that they are different from you thus, you need to act a 'certain way'. Instead, have it imbedded in your mind that you and them are just on the same boat – you are human beings about to get to know each other – that's all.
The second thing is to have the mindset that they are not there to judge you or have a scoreboard to see how 'well you do' when you are in their presence. You are not coming into a group to 'impress' or 'attract' them in any way because that is too much of a pressure that you really should not be putting on yourself. Go into the group with no goals and no agenda but to simply hang out, have fun, and to enjoy their company – that's it. This way you are eliminating the unnecessary pressure and only focusing on having a good time. Thirdly, all you have to do is to be friendly and talkative with them. The way you do this is in getting to know them as a person. Ask them what they do for a living, what their hobbies are, etc. and then go along with the conversation. The more you show that you are just interested in knowing them as a person the more they will see you as a cool, relaxed and chilled girl who is fun to be around.
Last but not least, is to not force anything. This means that if the groups of guys you are around with are simply difficult for you to talk to, or they show that they are not interested in having conversations with you then that's okay. Do not take their reactions personally because there are some people who simply will not click with and that's completely fine. Not forcing things also includes not trying too hard to 'appear cool' just in order to get them to like you. If you cannot be yourself with one guy then find another guy to talk to. Under no circumstances should you ever change yourself for someone else especially when you just met them. The more you are true to who you are the more attractive and confident you will appear in their eyes. So, just be yourself and have fun - the right guy will come your way sooner than later.
