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"Dear Bridestory, I'm in a serious relationship with a very special someone. We're planning to get married and I know that my marriage is going to work if I'm able to trust my future husband. I want to trust him, but somehow I am harboring a feeling of insecurity about him. Maybe I am just paranoid, but how can I be sure that I can trust him? What are the signs?" –GirlWithTrustIssues
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Dear GirlWithTrustIssues,
First of all, let's be clear. Marriage is about commitment. And since it's for the long term, it's important to be married with someone you can trust. A relationship with a lack of trust is not going to be a very satisfying or fulfilling one and we're glad that you've come to realize that, because unfortunately, some men can be trusted but some cannot.
Before you deciding to marry, please look for the signs that he is a trustworthy man. Learn to trust your gut. But in the case you're doubting even that, please ask yourself these questions to help you think if he's worthy of your trust:
1. Has he ever done anything to make you doubt his faithfulness to you? Signs of infidelity are actually recognizable. Open your eyes and see him for who he is. If he has done something that ignites your suspicions of being cheated, maybe you need to have a talk with him.
2. Does he always keep his words and promises? "A man is only as good as his words." And a trustworthy man will always follow through on his words and promises.
3. Does he uphold the values he has in life and does his actions show good moral principles? The goodness of a man shows in his action, and action speaks louder than words. Find out if you can share and connect important beliefs and values with him.
4. Can everyone around him attest to his character? A man's behavior is an indication of his character. If you can't see clearly, you might want to see how other people sees him.
5. Does he consistently do the right things? Doing the right thing isn't just a one off thing. Doing the right things molds the character of a person. And consistency is important.
Remember that trust is the bedrock of a marriage. Before you take the plunge, make sure that you can trust him. Look for the signs that he deserves your trust and then make the decision to trust him.
