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Isn't it just the greatest thing when you meet a guy who is just your type, who is super sweet, successful, kind and all around a great guy? You start thinking that maybe he could be the one. You develop a major crush on him and begin to think how your life would be like with him in the picture. But then reality steps in and tells you that he has a girlfriend and that vision you had of the both of you living happily ever after is now a blurry one.
You find yourself wondering if his status should even mean anything. Does his status as someone else's boyfriend make him unavailable or does it still make him 'fair game' because he isn't a married man yet? And if he is married, could he still be the one for you? Could it be that you both are simply meant to be and he is supposed to leave his current wife?
There can be a lot of wondering around about what you should do or how you should view the situation of his status, especially when you really like the person. However, in reality whether we like to hear this or not, the fact of the matter is that men who are someone's boyfriend or someone's husband are most definitely off limits. Here are the reasons why:
Men in relationships
When it comes to unmarried men, some people view them as 'fair game' because hey, they aren't married yet! However, what we need to understand is that anyone who has decided to be in a relationship with their partner have made the decision to be committed to that person. Being in a relationship is and should be different to dating. When you are dating around, you are single and looking. But when you are in a relationship that looking should stop and that commitment should stay. In other words, it doesn't matter whether someone is married yet or not – they have made a commitment to their partner even if law doesn't confirm it.
Consider these things before you decide to flirt or approach that guy who has a girlfriend:
1. If that person is able to be flirtatious with you even when he already has a girlfriend then what makes you think he wouldn't do the same with you later on? Actions speak louder than words and if he is the type of partner to think that those sorts of behaviours are okay then ask yourself, will you be okay with him doing that once you are in a relationship?
2. If you consider guys in relationships still fair game, then are you willing to accept other girls seeing your partner the same way? Fair enough, if you can handle other women flirting or even going for your man, but if you cannot even stand the thought of that happening then why would you do the same yourself? At the end of the day, we should be treating others the way we would want to be treated.
Married men
This is definitely a no-no. If a man in a relationship is already off limits, then a married man is certainly someone who you really shouldn't consider approaching or flirting with. If what you are looking for is something serious or a future with this man, then please, look elsewhere because if a married man is who you want then you are playing another different ballgame; one that you will most likely end up getting hurt in. Married men, no matter how tempting, wonderful and charming they are, should definitely be off limits. Always.
You may think that their marriage isn't that great and that he will be leaving his wife soon, etc. But the likelihood of that ever happening is very slim in reality. There are a lot more commitment and responsibilities involved when a man is married.
Even if you may think he is the one, to make him a part of your life in any real way would require a lot of hard work on your part. Here are a few things to take into consideration:
1. If what you are looking for is a serious relationship heading towards a marriage and the person you want is already married himself, you need to ask yourself whether or not you can bear the thought of him maybe-possibly-later-on divorcing his current wife? Waiting around for a man to leave his current partner is not easy and in no way going to be a fun ride. Once he does ever leave his wife, the idea of going into yet another marriage will most likely be the last thing on his mind.
2. If you are into a married man who also has children, this will be an even bigger hurdle to get through. Would you want to be a potential stepmother to his kids? Are you prepared to explain how things started with you and their father when they get older? Think about these things because they are big elements, which you will need to consider before even thinking about wanting to be with a married man.
It all may seem like a fun little game and it can feel exciting to want someone who is unavailable to you. It may even make things more intense because it is challenging when the person you like is already taken. But, if you really want to save yourself the trouble, the pain, the lack of trust later on and the waiting around then don't even try to go there with men who are clearly not single. If you don't even like other girls flirting with your man or girls accepting your man flirting with them, then why would you do the same yourself? Remember this and don't try to change the rules only because it is you going through it. If you think that your boyfriend or husband is very much off limits, then the answer is already there if ever you wonder whether or not you should go for that guy who has a girlfriend or a wife.
