Photography: Rebecca Amber Photography
Before going into a marriage, you may find yourself wondering if your spouse will change after you both say "I do." The thought of them no longer being the same person can send your worry meter off the charts, because let's face it – no one really likes change, especially if they do not serve ourselves well. But, do spouses really change after marriage? We decided to do our research and ask some married couples if their spouses changed after marriage. The majority of their answers were: "Yes, my spouse changed after marriage."
Before you panic and tell your partner not to change, it is important to understand what kind of change we are talking about. For the most part, the changes that happen is more about the roles and responsibilities of each person in the relationship. As you move from being fiancés to being husband and wife, it is inevitable that you both play a different role for one another than you did before. Being married requires both partners to work together as a team for the greater good, not only for the marriage but later down the line for your family as well. It is only natural that you both change, or rather merge into another version of yourself – a more mature and responsible version.
The dreaded changes
The worst change that can happen is when you and your spouse begin to take each other for granted. This is one of the biggest mistakes any married couples can make. What we have found is that successful marriages is due to constant effort on both sides into making each other happy, working on the romance and keeping the spark alive. Just because you have that ring on your finger does not guarantee automatic happiness or loyalty. Marriage is work and it cannot only be treasured or celebrated during special occasions. When you work on loving one another even better than you did before, a happy and long-lasting marriage is what you will both have.
How to see changes in a different light
Have you ever heard of the saying, "change is the only thing that is constant"? Instead of viewing change as a bad thing – we should start seeing it as something that is natural and that promotes growth. One way to look at change in your spouse is to see him in a new light. To see changes in your husband can mean falling in love all over again as you watch him play different roles in his life; as your husband and maybe later as the father to your children. Changes don't have to be viewed as a negative thing. Wouldn't you hope to be different to how you are now - a wiser, stronger and more loving person perhaps? If these changes were something you would wish upon yourself then surely we would want the same for our spouses.
