Photography: Thinkstock Photos
Do you ever feel like nothing you do for your partner is ever good enough or appreciated? We hear a lot of couples who try very hard to show how much they love each other but for some reason they just do not see eye to eye. This misalignment with how we express our love can be explained by the fact that we are often not aware of the love language we speak ourselves. You may or may not have heard of Dr. Gary Chapman's famous theory of 5 love languages that we all have. These love languages consists of words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Our love language is basically the way we expect to receive love and the way we express our love to our partners.
Let us explain briefly what these 5 love languages look like in a relationship and you can see for yourself, which ones resonates more with you. Bare in mind that we all 'speak' all 5 love languages, however there should be one or two most significant ones that you prioritize the most out of all five of them and those should be your love language/s:
- Words of affirmation: Verbal affirmations are very important and hearing your partner say things like "You look beautiful today"; "Honey, I had such a great time with you today"; "Baby, thank you for always being there for me" brings the biggest smile to your face.
- Quality time: Spending time with your partner even if that is by doing nothing but pillow-talking for hours says 'I love you' to you more than anything else. This is when the time spent with your partner must be of quality, not necessarily quantity.
- Receiving gifts: There is nothing more romantic and loving than your partner buying or making you something handmade as a way to show you they were thinking of you. Whether big, small, expensive or cheap, you simply love any kind of gifts.
- Acts of service: This type of love language is when you would feel so loved if your partner does something for you. Whether that is opening the door for you, washing your dishes, fixing something that was broken or giving you massages. For you, actions really do speak louder than words.
- Physical touch: Your partner wouldn't even have to say much but as long as he holds your hand, hugs you regularly, kisses you on the cheeks and simply holds you in his arms – you will feel loved like no other.
So, why is being aware of which love language you have important? Knowing your own as well as your partner's love language means having the ability to receive the love that you want/need as well as show your partner how much you love them in the way that they would appreciate it the most. We often love our partner the way we would like to be loved in return, but when you both speak different languages on love, this can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and miscommunications. You are lucky if your partner has the same love language as you do. But, if you differ then it is time to learn what each other's love languages are and try to speak in your partner's language instead.
This is about catering to each other's needs and learning more about each other on a deeper level. Get to know each other's love languages and the misalignment you felt before will slowly decrease.
