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Have you ever wondered what happens to Cinderella after Prince Charming whisked her away to his castle? Is it truly happily ever after from then on? Well, when we think that marriage ended the moment Cinderella got off the carriage at the castle, then yes, that would be a perfect definition of a happily ever after. However, the truth is that the marriage has only begun the moment Cinderella stepped off that carriage and entered the castle as the Prince's wife.
What do you think happens behind the large gates? We think that Cinderella and her Prince, like any other married couple, might have their share of couple's quarrels. Because that would be a normal thing. A very normal thing. We don't mean to scare you. In fact, we only mean to give you a heads up. Every marriage will have its share of couple's quarrels simply because marriage is about two people trying to be one. Conflicts are bound to occur. Especially conflicts regarding the division of labor in a marriage. However, we believe that if both partners understand each other's expectation on the roles of his wife or her husband, then these conflicts will be minimal.
So, before we go back to talking about happily ever after, let's begin by managing our expectations. First, let's start by understanding the things that a husband will need from his wife:
1. Recreational companion. A husband needs his wife to join him in his hobby every once in a while. Maybe it's for a round of golf or a ride or maybe even to sit in the room with his as he strums on his guitar. Show your husband that you care about him by showing interest in his world.
2. Constant encourager. A husband needs to know that he has his wife in his corner and that no matter how the world may see him, he will always be a hero in your eyes. Remember to show and tell him how much you appreciate all that he does and what a great job he's doing.
3. Sexual partner. Physical intimacy is a touchy but very important subject, because it can bring you closer together than anything else. If it's important to your husband, it needs to be important to you.
It takes two people to make a marriage work and to reach that "happily ever after" a husband needs to play his part too. We're sure that you might have a pretty good idea about how you want to be treated, but as a baseline, what are some things you can expect your husband to be?
1. Responsible leader. A good husband is someone who can take care of you and make you feel safe. He puts your needs above his own. He builds your talents and leads you and your family to grow.
2. Considerate listener. A good man resolves conflicts and straightens out issues, however sometimes a woman just needs someone to listen to her, not solve her problems. A good husband knows when he should offer advice or just lend an ear.
3. Romantic lover. Women love to feel loved… and we're sure that you do to. A good husband would treat you just as you love to be treated.
Now that we understand that by knowing the expectations you can have from your husband and what your husband can have from you, do you see yourself meeting it? Do you see him meeting yours? Can you be a good wife? Can he be a good husband?
Who should start first? Do you meet his needs so that he can meet yours? Or do you wait until he meets yours before you start meeting his? We believe that "happily ever after" can only be reached when both husband and wife understand their roles in the marriage and that they race to make each other happy.
