Photography: HappyWedding.vn
It literally takes a village to organise a wedding and Mum is not spared either – just read this short list for starters! From researching wedding customs to planning the guestlist and coordinating wedding attire with the in-laws, your mother will be just as busy as you are. So don't forget to recognise her contributions and show how much you appreciate her help in your wedding speech.
1. Attend the first meet-up
If your mother has yet to meet your boyfriend's parents, there's the dreaded first meeting to worry about. Remind Mum not to scare them away with wedding talk but use this occasion as a social ice-breaker. Who knows – you folks might have more in common than you think! Tell dad to prepare a list of interesting conversation topics like current affairs, travel, sports etc.
2. Enforce traditions and customs
If there's one person in the family who would insist on following tradition it's usually Mum. She would most likely lay the ground rules for all the wedding rituals that need to be strictly adhered especially if she were Asian.
3. Provide the guest list and seating arrangements
Almost half the wedding reception would be family and friends of the bride and groom's parents so it's important they let the couple know in advance who they wish to invite. Keep calm and be prepared that Mum will keep adding numbers or tweak the seating arrangements right up to the reception day itself!
4. Coordinate with in-laws on wedding attire
According to Western tradition, once the bride sets the theme and colour palette for the wedding reception, it's customary for the mother-of-the bride to purchase her dress first. After that she has to find a way to communicate this to the groom's mother so that their styles don't clash or one out-does the other. If you foresee a battle of the Mumzillas, then appoint the groom to relay the message.
5. Provide shopping support
If you trust your mother fully and appreciate her good taste, you can elect her as your personal shopper and negotiator (mothers love a good bargain!). You can involve her in choosing the wedding cake, favours, stationery and flowers. This would certainly take a lot of pressure off so that you can settle more pressing matters like catering, the officiant, entertainment, photography, outfits, alcohol etc.
6. Put the veil on the bride
Mum will be quite busy the morning of the wedding. Aside from ensuring that all the wedding paraphernalia is displayed and customs are properly executed (such as the tea ceremony), Mum should take some time to be by your side to offer emotional support and assist in wearing your bridal veil. Remind her to wear something nice for the cameras!
7. Host the relatives and VIPs
You'll be so busy worrying about the nitty-gritty on the actual day that you'll need your parents to turn on the charm and mingle with the guests. Make sure you get on your Mum's good side so she'll be cordial and charming to your VIPs.
8. Make a toast
Although it's not common for mothers to go up on stage to give a speech at the wedding reception, many of them make toasts at smaller functions like the rehearsal dinner, ROM lunch, bridal shower or even the morning-after breakfast (if it's a destination wedding). She can keep it short and simple by extending thanks to all present or she can give a 3-minute tearjerker … depending on how expressive she is.
