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Wedding planning is like a mini-marriage, it's fun and lovely but at some time can be stressful and frustrating as well. Just like any other phase of a relationship, there will be ups and downs during this prep time. So, if you find yourself arguing or fighting about something with your fiancÃÆ'©, it's absolutely normal! But of course, you must anticipate and resolve the problem quickly so that you can be back on track with planning your big, happy moment. We have compiled a list of few things that mostly cause an argument between newlyweds-to-be, so you can be prepared and know how to handle it effectively. Here goes!
1. Wedding budget
Money talks can be sensitive and intimidating, but it's very crucial to discuss this together with your partner from early on, especially when planning such an important (and mostly, expensive) event. A couple usually argue about a different view on the whole cost of the wedding, who's paying what, the contribution, the spending and expenses. In order to avoid too much friction in this area, make sure the two of you agree on a certain amount of money to cover the cost and try your best to stick to the budget. Be transparent and open about your financial situation so you can work out the best way to fund your wedding or handle any monetary issue.
2. Family expectation
In most cases, a wedding is a family affair. When two big families united, there are also two sets of expectations combined. Some couples often faced with clashing in-laws, relatives who are too involved, aunts who give unsolicited advices, grandparents who expect the bride to wear their antique dress, and many more. It could be frustrating and push the couple to take side or be defensive about their family. The most important thing is, the couple should stand their ground and make any decisions together. Don't let it put too much tension in your relationship, take it as the opportunity to learn about each other's family a little better and find way to navigate through it, together as well.
3. Duty and task division
There's a classic case of a bride who cares too much and groom who doesn't care enough when it comes to planning their wedding. Someone would feel like they're doing all the job by themselves and the other might feel left out, in the end it could easily cause an argument between the couple. To avoid that, make sure you delegate all the task accordingly. Give him duties that he would enjoy and excel at, like picking out wedding entertainment or DJ, planning the honeymoon, or working on the wedding playlist. Another idea is to divide the task list into hers, his, and ours so each one of you have a fair number of tasks to do.
4. Schedule and timeline
Wedding planning usually takes a hefty amount of time. Couples need to go to food tastings, meetings, fittings, photo shoots, and finish numerous tasks on time, like arranging guest list, sending out invitations, or submitting legal documents. For a busy couple this process can be quite frustrating and be the main source of a fight between them. One thing to remember is don't hesitate to ask for help whenever you need it, it could be from your bridesmaid, family, relatives or even the pros. Wedding planners and other professional vendors are there to provide support and ease the planning process for you, they can help you organize, manage and track the progress so you can just sit back, relax and be the star of the day!
5. Clashing taste or vision
Another common cause for a prewedding fight is when the bride and groom has contrasting ideas, taste or vision about their dream wedding. She might want a romantic pastel-colored flowers, stationery or decoration, while he's leaning toward a more minimalist and monochromatic tone. Maybe the bride loves classical tunes to be played during the dinner, but her groom wants upbeat poppy songs to be blasted out instead. The key to solve this issue is simply to communicate and compromise. Discuss the contradicting aspects and find a way to meet in the middle. You can also consult with someone you trust, like your mother, maid of honor, or wedding planner, to help you get a fresh and new perspective.
6. Guest list and invitation
Who should be invited, who's not making the cut, who's not going, who needs a plus one, how many people the parents are inviting, and how many more can the bride and groom add to the list? All these questions need to be answered and might cause trouble when the couple don't communicate properly. As soon as you decide on a wedding budget, determine the number of people you're going to invite, along with the distribution of invitee between the bride, the groom and both families. That way, everyone has a clear view about it. Thinking of inviting an ex, estranged cousin, or long-lost friends? Don't decide on this on your own, ask your partner about how he would feel about it. If he's uncomfortable with you inviting certain people, then respect that wish.
7. Bachelor and bachelorette party
How do you feel about your partner's plan to spend his last bachelor night, out partying until dawn? Or how does he feel about your expensive bachelorette trip with your friends? To avoid making this happy moment into a source of a fight, talk through the party plans beforehand. Share all of your anxiety and concerns about it, whether if you don't want him to be too drunk to get married in the morning, or if he'd rather spend the money for the honeymoon instead. Suggest alternative ideas that would suit your situation better and hopefully the two of you can still enjoy a fun moment with your friends without damaging your relationship.
8. Stress
Most of the times, the reason behind those bridezilla moments, frustration, even anger toward each other is simply because you're stressed. Everything would seem wrong and problematic when you're stressed and tired. How to resolve it? Quite easy, have a break. Have some alone time to do your hobby or taking care of your personal need. Go to the spa, see a movie or take a nap. FYI, sleep deprivation can also lead to stress and imbalance hormones. That way you can be refreshed and ready to tackle more bridal tasks afterwards. Also try to have one day out of the week where you and your partner discuss anything but wedding stuff. Go out on a date and forget all of those pending business for a while. If you're really overwhelmed with the wedding planning, ask your partner to help you out more so you won't get too stressed out.
