Photography: 123rf.com
When it comes to romantic relationships, we all want to be with someone who treats us well. We always look for that person that can make us feel loved, special and wanted. However, how often do we end up falling for the guy that kind-of-sort-of-maybe treats us well sometimes? And no matter what anyone tells us or how many times we get hurt, we just end up falling back into the relationship. So, why is it that what we want and what we end up settling for in reality can be so vastly different? How do we go from wanting a man to ending up with a boy instead?
Well, first of all the mistake that a lot of us women often make is not being able to differentiate between a man and a boy in the first place.
We assume that what makes someone a man and not a boy anymore has to do his age. But, think again, ladies, because it is not just the age that differentiates between a man and a boy, but it is in fact his actions and character instead. It is about their level of maturity, stage of life and life vision, not whether or not they are above 30 years of age.
Since we cannot really pinpoint a man by his age, how can we then tell if the person we are dating is still just a boy or if he's already a man? What differentiates between a boy and a man in their romantic relationships?
1. A man knows exactly what he wants – in life and in love - and he goes for it, period. When a man is pursuing you – he will make it extra clear that it is you that he wants. There will be nothing stopping a man from being with someone they are interested in. A boy may have somewhat of an idea about what he wants but not really. He tends to live in the moment and doesn't really like thinking about what's about to come next. He will keep you waiting and wondering if he is going to call you after that date or not. You will spend most of your time confused as to what is going on with the relationship because he doesn't even know what he wants.
2. A man is secure in himself and does not need anyone's validation. He doesn't need you to keep telling him or showing him how much you love him because he already trusts you. A boy gets ridiculously jealous without any reason whatsoever. He is possessive towards you and only wants you to himself because deep inside he is very insecure and feels the need to control you out of fear. A boy isn't able to trust you because he doesn't really trust himself either. You will find yourself having to make him feel better but when it comes to your happiness that is his second priority.
3. A man looks for independence, intelligence, confidence and compassion in a spouse. He has standards and will not settle for anything less. A man isn't intimidated by his woman's power or confidence – he embraces it instead. A boy is usually attracted to and goes for girls because he cannot handle being with a woman. By girls we mean someone who lacks independence, are ruled by insecurity, throw tantrums, lacks in self-respect and strong values and have princess syndrome.
4. A man says what he means and means what he says. You WILL know if he is into you or not, as he does not play any games. You will feel appreciated and adored and have the confidence that this feeling isn't going to be fleeting. A boy says things that he knows you will like to hear even though he doesn't really mean it. He will make you feel happy one minute and make you feel miserable the next. You will never know what you will get from him because he isn't a man of his words.
5. A man apologizes for his mistakes and owns up to the consequences. He has no problem saying that he has made a mistake and that he is sorry. There is no ego or pride getting in the way of him admitting to something he has done wrong. A boy, on the other hand, doesn't like saying sorry - not one bit. In fact, he finds it almost embarrassing to admit to a mistake, as it would mean he isn't perfect. Instead of facing his mistakes, he would away from it or create drama in order to not face what he has done. At times, you may even find yourself being the one who he blames everything on, when he should be the one apologizing.
6. A man isn't afraid of commitment and has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He isn't afraid to go through the thick and thin of the relationship with you, as he understands that it is a part of being with someone. A boy in relationships tends to have a really difficult time trying to commit either to their partner or to the relationship. They will either find someone else to fulfill their needs when times get rough or they will be aloof and not want to fix the problems in the relationship.
7. A man treats his woman like a queen. He has no qualms about being a gentleman, being romantic, being open and committed because he understands that it is what a man should do. He will make you feel like someone who is absolutely worthy of love. A boy makes you feel insecure and unworthy of his love. He doesn't really feel comfortable if he fully treated you well because that would mean he is being 'whipped' or he has lost. A boy is afraid of getting rejected so instead of being open, he will be emotionally distant and keep you at arms length.
When it comes to differentiating between a man and a boy – it can be as simple as a man will treat you well, no ifs or buts. You will not feel good only for a few days but then feel miserable for the rest of the week. There will be consistency in the relationship but at the same time the romance is still be very much there. Sure, you may be attracted to the 'bad boy' quality in a guy but, when you are at that stage in your life where you have learnt to love yourself and value your own self-worth – you will simply be way more attracted to men than you will be to boys. Isn't it much nicer to be with a man than a boy, anyway? Think about it.
