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The last thing anyone wants is to have regrets and when the regret as to do with a child – there really is no turning back. So, before we make that mistake – please, take a look at the list below as a guide for you and your partner to consider, think and talk about before trying to have a baby:
1. Conception
Are you going to try to get pregnant immediately or are you going to wait until much later on? It is true that even if you do try right away, there is still a chance that it could take months or even years to conceive. However, do not start trying unless you are prepared and ready to be a parent in nine months.
2. Prevention
If you are thinking of waiting, have you thought about the choice of prevention? Will you be using contraception? And if so, which type of contraception will you be using? It is best to speak to a doctor about this and find, which choice suits you best.
3. Career
Have you thought about how your career might be affected by having children? Will you actually have the time to enjoy both your career and being a parent at the same time? Although these days it is not impossible to have both a baby and a career however, it is important to be able to find a healthy balance between the two.
4. Relationship
Is the relationship with your spouse a healthy and stable one? Are there still lots of unresolved issues between the two of you? Having children will not 'fix' the relationship, if anything it will be a huge added burden on an unstable relationship. Take some time to work on yourselves as a couple, and then you can start making room for a baby.
5. Finance
Are you financially stable enough to support the costs of having children? Babies are expensive – they cost a lot of money. It is important to not only think about providing for a baby, but also providing for them throughout their childhood, teen years and early adulthood. To give your child as well as yourself a good life, there needs to be a stable income and substantial savings. If you do not have either of those, think again before trying to get pregnant.
6. Change of priorities
Are you actually prepared for it? Having children will dramatically change your life – socially, financially and emotionally. Will you resent it if you have to give up having things you want because of what the baby needs? Are you prepared to put someone else's needs ahead of your own? Your baby's needs for comfort and attention should be placed very high on your priority list. But, if you are still feeling the need to have an 'active' social life, then having a baby is probably not a good idea for now.
If thinking about any of these things above overwhelms you or gives you some form of anxiety – it is probably best to have some time to yourself to think about these things before trying to conceive. If you have doubts – make sure you get the answers or explanations you need in order to feel as prepared as you can be.
