Each married couple has their own strategies to keep their marriage in harmony. Whatever the strategy is, there has to be a rational reason behind that which should be appreciated, including a right to postpone an offspring.
Later parenthood is not a negative thing
Your decision to delay an offspring is a reasonable and logical thing if the reasons behind it were:
- Long-distance relationship
Some couples are still in a long distance relationship, even after marriage, either their work locations are afar, or one of them is still studying in a different city. Having children, from the pregnancy phase until growing up, should be done at an ideal condition. Since those phases are not easy, the husband and wife should be living in one roof to prepare everything and support each other properly.
- Financial
It is a very relevant factor if you are based your reason to delay parenthood on your not-yet-ready financial condition. In general, the price of all necessities in the world will keep increasing, including the budget to raise children starting from laboring budget to education rates. In Indonesia, Statistics Indonesia revealed that education budget raises 10% every year.
- Short dating time
Couples who tied a knot only in months after getting to know each other often reveals this reason. "Moving" your dating phase to after the wedding can be a great moment to prepare a strong family foundation.
- Still in a joint-living with parents
A short live-in at your parents' or parents-in-law's house is not a thing to be ashamed of. However, some couples prefer not to add loads to other people (the parents in this case) by having a child before owning a dwelling. The feeling of "staying at someone else's property" can be a factor that makes the couple not being in a hurry to have an offspring soon.
- Mental readiness
Each person has their own time of mental readiness, especially knowing the fact that new parents, both the husband and the wife, are prone to post-partum depression. Therefore, if you feel that you are not mentally ready, there is no wrong to postpone your pregnancy.
- Medical reasons
Some illnesses prevent a woman to be pregnant shortly, such as breast cancer, heart disease, diabetes, epileptic, hypertension, obesity, and tuberculosis. Consulting with your doctor is the right decision to anticipate the medical effects before pregnancy.
A decision with a wide impact
Nowadays, married couple's decision to postpone parenthood is no longer a taboo thing. Being not in a rush about parenthood is a fact that was also agreed by data from Population Survey Between Censuses held by Statistics Indonesia every 10 years. The data revealed that there was a shift in women's age during their first giving birth experience in the last 15 years. The age was indeed getting "older". In between 1996 - 2000, women aged 16 - 35 years old who had their first baby-delivering for the first time was only 17.9%, while in 2011 - 2015, the percentages increased into 28.1%. From the same time frames, the number of women aged more than 35 years old who had their first birth giving raised 2.13%. Whether they postponed marriage or parenthood, this survey proved that Indonesian people are currently not being in a rush regarding adding a new family member.
The woman is the defining factor of this phenomenon. Physically, the proper age for giving birth is between 21 and 35 years old. However, apart from that, there are a lot of factors that influence a child's life endurance. Elizabeth Gregory, the author of Ready: Why Women are Embracing the New Later Motherhood, said that woman's decision to postpone parenthood could bring an impact to her environment's economic condition. If a woman prioritizes education and career, it means that she can guarantee a proper life-hood to her future children. "Owning a proper education and making more money raises a woman's socioeconomic status, so a working-class mother can potentially raise a middle-class child if she waits to start a family," Gregory stated.
More than that, Gregory also forecasted a wider impact. "Woman who delays motherhood has probably an advance authority position at her workplace. Thus, she has the power to make policies that are benefiting working mothers, such as improvisation on maternity leave for both men and women." This effects a better transformation of working ethics in that country.
