Photography: Wavebreak Media
When it comes to fixing things that are not going well in a relationship, there is such a thing as "too late". We see couples who really love each other but have waited way too long to get some help until one partner is simply "over it" and does not want to put any more energy or effort into making things better. Research on marriage found that couples with problems usually wait 6 years before seeking help. With this in mind, how far and how long must we wait until enough is enough? Are there signs to look out for to know when it's time to get help from a therapist to salvage the marriage? Let us we share with you 4 indications that it might be time to seek couple's counselling:
1. When you want to have a good or an even better marriage
Even when there aren't any particular issues in the relationship, it is always good to learn new skills and tools to enhance what you and your partner already have. Do not wait for a problem so big that you both cannot handle it together before you seek help.
2. When you feel disconnected and you can't seem to change it on your own
When there is distress in the marriage, one of the both of you will usually feel some emotional disconnection, which could also diminish sexual passion. Being disconnected from the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with is the last thing that anyone would want to feel. When you begin to keep yourself busy with other things outside of the marriage such as work or kids, to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with your partner then this would be a good time to seek help.
3. When you think your partner is what is wrong with the marriage
It is very common for one person to feel unhappy while the other seemingly oblivious that there is any problem at all. Although you or your partner may feel that the marriage is getting rocky solely because of one person's personal issues it is still a relationship problem regardless. Everyone has his or her own issues and patterns that play into any relationship. Although these need to be addressed, it is within the context of couple's counselling that you will be able to see how each of you contributes to both the distress and the joy.
4. When you can no longer communicate well with your partner
Couples who say that they have great communication skills often, in many ways, still cannot work through conflicts together. Some would try to solve the issue but find that after a few days or weeks, they are back to their old behaviors or different conflicts pop up in other areas. When it starts getting to a point where no matter what you or your partner tries to say or do solves nothing, then it is time to seek professional help.
